Love On The Rocks
by Queen of Isles
Summary: Set just after Emma and Mary Margaret return through the well, Emma feels bad that Regina has been left out and goes to see her to try and build some bridges. Rated M for later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – Thanks to the people who reviewed my first story Who's on Top. I noticed a few of you commenting on paragraphing or should I say lack of. I didn't structure the story better because I felt it didn't need it, it was only short dirty smut, my mind was writing it quicker than I could type it. Also since paragraphing is used to show change in time, place, subject or speaker and non of the above happened I didn't think anyone would mind clearly I was wrong, but point taken guys thank you, I apologise and promise future stories will be structured better. Cheeky as this is if any of you still fancy reading it I wouldn't mind knowing what you think beyond the paragraphing:) P.S. Thanks to those of you who read it and liked it anyway! This is a little slower more story less sex, for the moment anyway! **

**Chapter 1**

I close my hand around a large glass of scotch, my third of the night, the ice in the drink should feel cold against my skin but I'm to numb to feel it.

I've lost everything, I had tried to repent for my sins, my son looking at me with pleading eyes had made me rethink my behaviour, I was so used to bullying and manipulating in order to get what I wanted I had almost forgotten there was another way.

I saw his eyes glazed with emotion, begging me to make it safe for Emma and Mary Margaret to return, I did what he asked and what thanks did I get? He left me standing alone while Emma and her entourage took him for dinner there was no invite for me, and why would there be, one act of doing the right thing did not compensate for all the wrongs I'd done.

I decided to go to bed before my self pitying mood consumed me, just as I started to climb the stairs there was a knock on the door, I considered leaving it as I was in no mood for company, but as the second knock sounded I decided to see who it was, it might be important.

I opened the door to see Sheriff Swan standing on my door step, shifting her weight from foot to foot looking like a teenage boy picking up his prom date, it was completely adorable.

"Miss Swan? What are you doing here? Is Henry OK? Has something happened?"

She had a little half smile on her face and I couldn't help but wonder what was so amusing about my obvious concern.

"Henry's fine, he's at Mary Margaret's, he's tired but safe."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you"

"Why?"

"Because I felt bad"

"About?"

"About leaving you behind while we headed to Granny's for dinner"

"Well its very sweet of you to be concerned Miss Swan but I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself"

"So I see!"

Her eyes drop to the scotch in my hand and for some reason I suddenly feel embarrassed like I should wrap the drink in a brown paper bag to conceal its contents.

"Grown woman has glass of scotch in own home after tough day, yes I see now why that would require police intervention."

"Its only an intervention if I try to stop it"

"And if I offer you a glass?"

"Its good manners!"

"Well Miss Swan never let it be said that the mayor of Storybrooke is letting her manners fail."

Why does this feel like flirting? Note to self three large scotches + Sheriff Swan = Trouble!

I leave the front door open for her to enter and put a little more sway then normal in my hips as I head to the kitchen hoping the Sheriff notices! By the way she is struggling with the simple task of closing and locking a door I'd say she did!

I reach up into the cabinet where I keep the glasses and push them back till my fingertips are barely touching them, its then that Emma walks in, I stay focused on what I'm doing allowing her to enjoy the sight of me reaching, legs flexed as they try to give me extra height, silk shirt pulled from the waist of my skirt showing the barest suggestion of toned torso, back arched, arm fully extended I let her watch, enjoying the fact I can see her reaction in my peripheral vision. She looking at me like I'm hot buttered toast and she's doing Atkins!

Its then that she offers to help, good job too, this pose may have been enjoyable for Emma but I was starting to cramp!

"Actually Miss Swan your help would be appreciated thank you"

The look of genuine surprise on her sweet little face is priceless!

"So this cupboard, top shelf?"

"Yes that's right, let me move out of your way to make it easier for you?"

"No its OK, your fine where you are."

With that she moves in behind me and rests a strong yet gentle hand on the curve of my hip as the other reaches over us, I don't know if its the reaching up or close proximity of our bodies but she releases a soft little grunt and I swear its the sexiest sound I've ever heard, and felt, as its close enough to my ear that it tickles slightly when it escapes.

She hands me the glass the, ours eyes meet, and our fingertips touch and I all of a sudden I don't feel numb any more.

I pour her a glass of the expensive scotch, pleasantly surprised that she doesn't down it and distort her face at the taste, her little cupid bow pout seems to savour the amber liquid and as she sweeps her tongue over her lower lip in appreciation its borderline erotic.

"I hope you don't think I'm being impolite but why did you come here tonight?"

"I told you I felt bad, you did a good thing today you deserved to be thanked properly, not be left on your own to get hammered on ridiculously good scotch."

She takes another long drink as if to accentuate her point, and I swear I can see each drop of liquid gliding down her throat, I also did the obligatory eyebrow raise at "thanked properly" I can't begin to imagine what that means!

"You shouldn't feel bad Miss Swan, I have done some truly terrible things in my time, you more than anyone should know that and I can not expect the rest of the town to forget that just because I'm trying to be better, I'm afraid its going to take a long time and a lot more selfless acts before any one is ready to forget."

"You've made a start though, your trying at least, that has to count for something."

"Yes, I'd like to think it does, sometimes I don't know if I have the strength, but then I look at Henry and I'm reminded of why I'm doing this, he may be a ten year old boy but he's my life, the reason I want to be better, he's my best friend, truth be told my only friend and the one person who believes in me."

I can recall many encounters with Emma, but I can honestly say I've never once seen her look at me the way she is doing now, her expression is soft and understanding, her eyes are sparkly with sympathy and sincerity, maybe its the scotch but I truly believe I've never seen a more beautiful sight.

She looks down at the glass in her hand, she's rotating her wrist slightly so the liquid moves to lick the brim of the glass but never enough to spill. She looks like she wants to say something but I'm in no rush so I simply wait if I push to hard I may hear something I don't like, her saying she should leave for example.

So I wait it out, watching her closely as she becomes hypnotised by the swirling liquid, I learn back on my stool and cross my legs, suddenly the glass in her hand is no longer her focus, scotch tips over the edge and trickles down her fingers, I am secretly praying at this point that she is as uncouth and predicable as I hope and that her solution will be to wipe her dripping digits on sinfully tight denim and not put them in her mouth to lick them clean, if she does that I will have no other choice then to fuck her on my kitchen counter.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately she does the former, my inner mother or perhaps inner girlfriend wants to nag her for the actions, lecture her on hygiene and etiquette, but I cant bring myself to, her running her strong hand over her own muscular thigh with a slightly sheepish apologetic look on her face is just too damn cute for words.

I suggest we move to the sitting room, the kitchen with Henry's artwork displayed on the fridge and the fact its the scene of the infamous poisoned turnover incident is killing the mood.

In the sitting room things seem different, less awkward, she still hasn't said anything but the silence is comfortable, she takes the seat next to me on the couch although there are other options and for such a small simple gesture it warms my heart immensely.

"It isn't true, you know?" her voice is quiet and deep and as smooth as the scotch she's drinking.

"I'm sorry" It takes me a moment to think back to the last thing I said so I'd have some idea what she meant.

"You said Henry is the only one who believes in you, that isn't true." Tears sting my eyes and rage starts building inside of me, I stand up quickly and Emma does the same in two seconds flat its our well rehearsed stand off, me standing hands on hips, showing authority, eyes menacing, but she isn't, she usually matches me but instead she grabs hold of me by the tops of my arms, shaking slightly as if this will put some sense into me.

"Will you calm down" she says in a tone far to casual for my liking, her rolling her eyes not appreciated either!.

"Calm down, you just told me that Henry doesn't believe in me, the one hope that keeps me going, my whole reason for reforming and even he thinks I'm a lost cause!".

"That's not what I meant!, what I meant was, you said he was the ONLY one and that's the bit that's not true, I believe in you too!".

"You do?"

"Yes, you crazy lunatic!" her irresistible little grin shows this is gentle teasing based on recent reactions, not her actual thoughts on my mental health.

"Reformed character my ass!" She chuckles and so do I, her ass however in a topic for later discussion.

I calm myself down as I realise what she just said, then my heart starts to race as I realise what she just said. My head feels hazy I shake it in an attempt to clear the fog she just smiles at the sight and I'm immediately put at ease.

I sit back down and she does the same, god damn why does she has to sit like that! Arm thrown lazily over the back of the couch, legs straddled wide almost like she wearing a huge strap...that's quiet enough of that!

She must notice me staring because she shifts slightly, scotch soaked fabric pulling tight across her crotch, I don't notice a bulge but if those jeans were any tighter I'm pretty sure I could lip read.

"I meant it you know, I do believe in you, I can see a change already".

"I don't know how you can really think that I've been so awful to so many people, you perhaps most of all, what makes you think I can change?".

"Regina you are nothing if not a very determined woman, you usually get what you want, I don't see why this would be any different, if you have your mind and heart set on change I truly believe that nothing will stand in your way".

"Having my mind set on it is one thing, my heart that's another matter, a pure heart gives you strength to overcome many obstacles, my heart is anything but pure, in fact its existence is still debatable".

She looks at me with soft eyes like I've just asked if my skirt makes my ass look fat, but this isn't about fishing for compliments, this is a rare moment of vulnerable honesty.

"You have a heart Regina it may not be pure, it may be battered and bruised but it exists and I can assure you its fully functional".

I should be flattered the one person other than Henry that I desperately want to see the real me, actually seems like she does but that terrifies me, hot, sexual tension, highly inappropriate flirting and good old fashioned eye sex I can handle but actual emotion, feeling myself fall and letting it happen that's another matter.

"How can you be so sure, what possible evidence have you seen that suggests I'm capable of love?".

"Loads of evidence!".

The way she defends my honour even against my own criticism, makes my insides ache.

"Look at how you were with me when I first arrived".

"Emma, I was horrible to you! I made your life a misery".

Her eyes sparkle as I say her name for the first time.

"Yes you did, but it was all because of Henry, you take the protective mama bear role to a whole other level".

I smile at her compliment, she really does have the most effortless charm, never conventional compliments but breathtaking non the less.

"It still doesn't excuse my behaviour, I was so horrible to you".

My head drops purely from shame, my behaviour was terrible and having Emma defend it by claiming it was from noble intention only made me feel worse.

She moves closer to me and places her hand on my cheek, her thumb perfectly positioned to catch a tear I didn't even feel fall, she slides her thumb across my cheekbone with the softness of a sigh and it takes everything I have not to fall apart.

"You have to stop beating yourself up, I'm not saying you haven't done some terrible things, you have, but look at why you did them".

Her hand is still resting on my face and I say a silent prayer that it will stay there always, I turn my face into her palm before turning back to meet her eyes. Her eyes are wide and full of so much emotion that I have to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in my throat.

I wanted to speak but couldn't trust what words would fall so I stay silent and allow her to continue.

"Everything you did you did for love, losing Daniel was the start, the thought of losing Henry only made matters worse, your whole reason behind doing all you've done is love, and while you may go about things in a very questionable way the motivation behind it remains the same, to feel love so strongly that it causes this level of vengeance is incredibly powerful, I believe that when all your passion and strength are put in love not hate you have the ability to love someone in a way no one else could even imagine".

Her lower lip is quivering with emotion and all I want to do is kiss it to stop it shaking, her hand is still on my face and the other is on my thigh, intense eye contact, check, close physical proximity, check, expression of deep emotions, check! Nows your chance Swan, I think to myself, if your going to do it, nows the time. I can tell she wants to her eyes are flickering from her my eyes to my lips, and I wonder if my wishing so hard for her to kiss me has resulted in actually mouthing the words.

She leans in close my senses swimming as her hand slides round to the back of my neck and as her warm breath bathes my face my whole body trembles, the side of her face brushes across mine as she places the softness kiss on the dried remains of my tear, it had been a long time since anyone had shown me such tenderness, it makes my heart hurt.

She moves back and moves her hand to mine, the other was still on my leg but now safely resting on my knee I know what she's going to say and the words hurt me before there even said.

"Its getting late, I should be going".

I feel conflicted, part of my wonders how she can just walk away when so much between us has changed, the other part wants her to go I've been so emotionally open I'm not sure I have anything else to give.

"Of course, I'll show you out".

We move to the front door and everything seems to happen in slow motion, I unlock and open the door moving behind it so she can leave, she's back to looking like an awkward teenager and all I want to do is hold her, she beats me to it and draws me in for an embrace, it was amazing to feel her arms around me, I run my hands up her arms feeling her biceps tense under leather, she smells so good soap, shampoo, and scotch, her body is the perfect combination of womanly curves and toned muscle, feeling it pressed against me is heavenly, I could have stayed like that forever.

She lets go and I immediately miss her, as I watch her walk away I know this is not the end if fact its only the beginning, she turns back to wish me sweet dreams and for the first time in a long time I believe they will be.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**** – ****This one is getting a few followers which is really nice, would love some reviews/feedback, think there's a few more chapters to be had out of this, if people are interested.**

**Thanks to everyone reading, following and adding as favourite, like I've probably said before new to this so huge compliment thank you.**

**If I haven't already said I don't own characters etc, etc Not done for profit etc, etc. **

Chapter 2

I didn't dare look back, I just kept walking, I knew how happy she was, how much she needed to stop hiding and talk to someone, I don't think either of us were expecting that someone to be me.

I had never seen her so vulnerable, opening up and excepting responsibility for all she had done, it was heart warming and endearing seeing her like that but I had let it go to far, obviously there was an attraction between us, always had been, simmering under the surface, us constantly walking the fine line between love and hate, but that didn't mean I wanted anything more.

I did feel that she was capable of change and I could see her trying, I couldn't steal her thunder by rejecting her. I was tempted to kiss her of course I was, but the reason I didn't wasn't for some sweet noble reason about respect and sensitivity it's because I don't do relationships or anything complicated and I'm sure getting into a sexual/romantic relationship with the town mayor/evil queen who is the adoptive mother to my illegitimate son and the arch enemy of my mother who just happens to be Snow White is about as complicated as it gets!

I let myself into Mary Margaret's apartment, the dark fooling me into thinking that everyone was asleep, no such luck.

"Hey, where did you get to?"

Mary Margaret inquires innocently but my guilt is enough to put me instantly on edge.

"Regina's"

I was to tired to lie and didn't see any real reason why I had to.

"OK... is everything alright? was it something to do with Henry?"

"Kind of"

"Kind of how? What's going on?"

The emotional and physical fatigue shortens my fuse and my tolerance is no where to be found.

"It's none of your business! your so interfering!"

"And your impossible!"

"What? Where's that coming from?"

"You always do this! Pull away from anyone who tries to get close to you! I get that you put up walls to protect yourself but like I told you before they may keep out pain but they also keep out love!"

"Love that I don't want, need or ask for!"

"Everyone needs love and everyone wants love your just to stubborn and stupid and scared to admit it! and no one ever asks for it because it cant be controlled, it just happens, at the most inconvenient time, when you don't need the complication and always with the person you least expect."

"That's all very romantic, but not all of us grew up in an enchanted forest, where the good guys always win and true love's kiss can over come all! Some of us grew up in reality, where bad things happen and its not mystical forces at work just plain old human nature!"

"God you sound just like Regina!"

"What? How does she have anything to do with this!"

"Your so convinced that people are going to screw you over that you don't give anyone the chance to prove you wrong, it clouds your judgement and makes you bitter and twisted, just like her!"

"I am nothing like her!"

My words fall on deaf ears as she just turns and walks back to her room, leaving me alone to process her words.

My whole body aches likes I've just fought a battle and in all honesty I don't think I came out of it well, as I sat there battle beaten, feeling fragile and sorry for myself all I wanted was her, I remember how good she felt in my arms and the memory makes me want to cry.

I pull out my cell and type out a text.

_Call me in the morning we need to talk. X_

It was a lame message, especially since it had been deleted and re typed four times but that's the best I came up with.

My cell rang before I was even sure the message had sent and I didn't need to look to know it was her, I answered the call and braced myself for what I was about to hear.

"What do you need to say to me?"

"Nothing that can't wait till tomorrow, just go to sleep and I'll call you in the morning"

"No you'll tell me now!"

It was unreal how fast that change happened, from doe eyed sweetheart back to evil queen in the time it takes to send a text! What is it they say about a woman scorned!

"Its late, I'm tired and we've both had a long day, it can wait till tomorrow"

"Do you really think I'm going to be able to sleep now!"

"Maybe not but try, I don't want to do this over the phone anyway"

I regretted it the second I said it, I heard her choke back tears and for a moment I thought I heard her heart break, I swallow thickly, feeling like I'm going to be sick.

"You didn't mean any of it did you? This was all just a game, a plan to get me to play nicely so you could have your own way!"

I tried to explain, what lame excuse I was going to come up with I don't know but she hung up before I had chance to say anything, I tried calling back but it was going straight to voice mail, I sat there for a minute, weighing up my options before realising I only had one, leaving my home I headed for hers, I didn't want a confrontation but I couldn't let this go on all night, couldn't let her suffer any more then she already had, she deserved an explanation.

Maybe she heard my boots on the gravel, maybe she sensed I was on my way or maybe I was so whipped that my turning up in the middle of the night was inevitable, whatever it was the front door was opened before I even reached the gate. She had a strange look on her face and I could tell she was having an internal battle, part of her wanted to throw her arms round me, like I was a wounded solider returning from war, another part of her wanted to feed me poisoned turnover!

I slowly walked forward, the phase lamb to the slaughter had never been more fitting for a situation.

My hands were wedged deep in my pockets and I knew I had to tread carefully as bashful uncertainty had a bigger effect on her than my usual confident swagger.

She stepped aside and let me in to the house, I was surprised I'd made it this far with out being on the business end of a fire ball or her patented "I'm going to rip your still beating heart out of your chest and show it to you!" party trick.

I had walked there like a zombie, nothing on my mind but the music I was about to face and as a result came up blank when I tried to think of what to say.

"You said we needed to talk, so talk."

There was no emotion in her voice, anger, hurt, confusion, upset, I'd have taken any of the above over nothing at all.

"Lets sit down then I'll explain."

"Lets, come through, sit down, maybe the couch will cushion the blow!".

She was not going to make this easy, a part of me thought that it was right that she wasn't, then another part reminded me I hadn't actually done anything wrong!

We sat down on the same couch, suffice to say the easy atmosphere of earlier had well and truly gone, replaced instead by awkward silence and frayed emotions.

I shifted uncomfortably before realising that the only position I'd be comfortable in would be one far away from here! So I bite the bullet and started speaking, getting it over with quickly like pulling off a band aid.

"I want you to know I meant what I said earlier".

She rolled her eyes and I could tell she thought I was full of it and was trying to work out what things she should and shouldn't believe.

"Its true, I do believe your changing and that your capable of great love, I just don't think I am".

She lets out a small "laugh" but there is no humour in it only bitterness.

"You are a weak, pathetic, coward! How I ever thought I could feel anything other than contempt for you is a complete mystery!".

I'm flawed by her words, why I don't know what did I think was going to happen? That she would fall to the floor clutching my pant leg and beg me not to go?!

"I appreciate you telling me this in person Sheriff but I think you should leave now".

What the hell was this? I should have been relieved but I wasn't, I should have been thanking my lucky stars that I was getting away with this, but I felt crushed I felt like someone and ripped out my heart and crumbled it into ash before my eyes, I place my hand on my heart to check she hadn't and breathed a sigh of relief when I felt its admittedly slightly irregular beat.

"Regina please, we need to talk".

"I believe you've said all you needed to Sheriff and I certainly have nothing else to add, so what exactly would be the point in you staying any longer if there is nothing else to say?".

I needed to think and think fast, this is what I came here to say and the reaction as painful as it was, was better then any I had imagined, but I couldn't go, I didn't want to, I wanted to stay.

"Let me ask you one question, before I leave".

She looked at me with suspicious eyes then gave a small nod signalling for me to continue.

"Do you think I'm capable of great love?"

"You just told me you don't think you are, so what difference does it make what I think?"

"All the difference in the world"

"Don't play your childish games with me Miss Swan, I'm in no mood!"

"This isn't a game its a serious question! You wanted to know if I saw the real you and I do, now I want to know if you see the real me".

"Yes, I do"

"So?"

"So what?"

"What do you see? When you look at me, what do you see?"

"I don't think your a natural blonde"

The "but I wouldn't mind finding out" remains unspoken but the thought clearly passes through both our minds and I could kiss her just for defusing the tension that was so intense it felt like it was choking me.

"Anything else?"

"The Emma Swan I see is my equal, the first person to stand up to me, that's why I knew you were special. As soon as I saw how you were with Henry, I knew we were meant to be, you do whatever you have to in order to protect what you care about, someone like me who is strong and passionate and relentless needs someone who's the same!"

I can't help but smile at what she says, no one has ever said anything like that to me, which I guess just reaffirms the point she's making, no one else has said it because no one else gets it, gets us and that's why in a bizarre, fucked up way I suppose we are meant for each other.

"Of course Sheriff all this was before you came round here like a complete pussy backing out before we even began because you got scared!"

The way she says scared is like she's talking to a child and although it should make me mad and bring back my fight it just makes me smile, she's right, I know it, she knows it, what's the use in denying it?

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, other than you being right".

"I could get used to hearing that!"

The triumphant little grin on her face is definitely something I could get used to.

"How what's so funny?" she asks as I recall my earlier conversation with Mary Margaret.

"Just something Mary Margaret said about us being the same, we assume the worst of people so we don't get hurt when we're proved right, but in doing so we never let anyone prove us wrong".

"Well, who knew Snow White was capable of such wisdom? I'm mildly impressed!"

"I'll be sure to tell her"

"I'd rather you didn't"

"Yeah I forgot you and my "mom" don't really see eye to eye, holidays are going to be so much fun!"

She starts giggling and the sound makes me melt and I know I'll need to hear that sound everyday from now on.

"Now what's funny?"

"From emotional crisis and struggling to come to terms with your feelings to planning the holidays in three minutes flat? You really have this being a lesbian thing down don't you!?"

I give her a playful shove in response to her comment, but when she stops giggling and her eyes find mine I suddenly turn serious.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

She looks at me like I have two heads, like it was obvious I was going to stay but then her expression soften as she takes a moment to appreciate the chivalry of not taking anything for granted.

"I think you better had Sheriff, can't risk you running off again can we?"

"Your never going to let me live that down are you?"

"It happened two hours ago! I'm hardly dragging up the past!"

"OK point made you can have your fun"

"Oh I intend to Sheriff"

She's now making her way upstairs and its a wonder I'm not tripping on my jaw given the vantage point from being a step behind her. We go into her bedroom and it's nothing like I imagine, its warm and welcoming, no whips or chains, not yet anyway! I feel like I'm making the place untidy just by being there the thought of future arguments about me leaving my jacket, boots, jeans, underwear thrown on the floor is enough to make me smile, she doesn't ask me what I'm smiling about probably guessing I'm just happy to be here, and she'd be right, she does however notice my apprehension because she moves closer to me and whispers for me to make myself at home, she's already in silk negligée but excuses herself to use the bathroom, I use this time well and strip down to my tank and underwear, she returns to the bedroom and I tremble as my whole body receives a good old fashioned eye fuck, nice to know I've still got it! I'm standing on the outside of the room after readying myself for bed and I'm terrified, nothing is going to happen we are both way to tired and drained and some half asleep groping really isn't OK for our first time together, but as I reach my hand up to open the door I see that its shaking maybe because the sex bit is the easy bit, its the sharing a bed and not having sex that scares me, I had no reason to be scared, I open the door and see her already laid in bed, I get behind her wrapping myself round delicious curves, my chest against her shoulder blades, her ass against my centre, my arm around her tiny waist, at this point I was wishing I wasn't so damn tired! It all feels so natural, she cranks her neck to an awkward angle to kiss my cheek and whispers good night, I return the sentiment and we settle down to sleep her body feeling like its always belonged with mine but had just been missing. The last thing I hear her say before I fall into deep, blissful sleep is sweet dreams and for first time in a long time I believe they will be.

**A/N – I promise not all chapters will end like this, only really done to show that they are both in similar places, I still have some ideas so if anyone is interested in a third or perhaps fourth chapter let me know. Thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – Just a little note to keep you updated. Been struggling a bit with this, messed about with chapter 2 loads and still wasn't 100% happy. I'm flattered so many of you are following and enjoying and giving me some great ideas and feedback. Two people commented on exclamation points, I thought at first they were being over critical, after re reading I realised they were bang on the money, the abuse of punctuation was shocking so will try to watch that in future. Think chapter 3 is going to be a little more build up, Henry and Mary Margaret finding out and reacting, leading to perhaps sexy times by chapter 4. Thanks again to all for your on going support. Any ideas, suggestions or constructive criticisms are always welcome. **


	4. Chapter 3 (Actual Chapter)

**A/N- Sorry for long gap between updates. This doesn't really end that well but I wanted to update before xmas, also would have been really long chapter. Hope people are still enjoying, thanks for all support and Merry Christmas. **

**P.S. I don't own anything, done for fun not profit. **

Chapter 3 

I didn't have to open my eyes to know she had gone. I had fallen asleep wrapped in her warmth so the cold I felt upon waking made her departure obvious. I listened for noises that would prove me wrong, her singing along to the radio, badly out of tune, while cooking breakfast in her underwear and tank. But there was nothing only silence and it was deafening.

I sat in the kitchen making no attempt to stop the tears that fell. I was so lost in my own misery I almost didn't hear the knock at the door. I wiped my face and ran to open it, hoping it was her, hoping she had changed her mind. I was of course wrong. I opened the door to find Mary Margaret and Henry stood there, my expression and appearance must have said it all. Mary Margaret looked at me with something similar to concern in her eyes and Henry who normally runs right past me stops to give me a hug. I thank Mary Margaret for looking after Henry and returning him home, she accepts my thanks and graciously leaves without prying. Henry breaks the silence with a question so shocking I needed him to say it again. He gives an exasperated sigh before repeating himself.

"You and Emma, it finally happened didn't it?"

"Henry what on earth are you talking about?"

"The book, it says that the Evil Queen and the Saviour fall in love and live happily ever after."

The words hit with such force I think they'll leave bruises. The mention of Me, Emma and love in the same sentence makes it hard for me to breathe.

"Henry I have seen the book and it says no such thing"

I should have soften my tone but keeping back my tears was taking all my strength.

"That's what was written on the missing pages"

I was about to take my temper out on him again when I remembered that pages had been torn out.

"Henry what did you do with those pages?"

"I tore them out to show Emma"

"So she's seen them?"

"Yeah she had trouble getting her head round it to"

"Where are the pages now?"

I see his little face crease in concentration as he tries to answer. Raising an eyebrow I let him know he can't get out of this.

"She threw them on a fire"

"Well I think that tells us all we need to know"

I try to keep my tone light but I feel like I've just been kicked in the stomach.

"She's just scared mom, you need to prove your not going to hurt her".

"I tried Henry, really I did but she just keeps running away".

The desperate tone of my voice distracts me from the inappropriate conversation I'm having with my son.

"She'll come round mom you just have to be patient, give her time".

I give him a look that says his point has been made and asks what he wants for his breakfast, glad that my motherly duties will provide temporary distraction from my pain.

"I can't stop for breakfast, there's something I need to do."

He's at the door before I can ask what he's up to, backpack slung over his shoulder leaving his hands free to catch the apple I throw him. I see him look at the apple and then at me before he takes a huge bite. My heart swells as I realise just how much our relationship has changed.

"Hey kid what are you doing here?"

I ask as Henry comes barrelling into Granny's Diner. I try to sound nonchalant but I know why he's here and what he's going to say.

"You know why I'm here"

I shrink down in my chair like I school kid in trouble waiting outside the principles office.

"Look kid I know what your going to say but its not that simple".

"Your not even trying your just hurting her".

His words make me winch, knowing I hurt her is is bad enough but knowing Henry saw the full extent makes me feel sick.

"Henry you don't understand, its complicated".

"No, you don't understand and it's only complicated because your making it that way".

The look on my face must read "what the hell do you know kid?"

"I know I'm only a kid but I seem to know more about true love then anyone else in this town. Your making it complicated because your over thinking it, so stop thinking and do what your heart tells you.

What the... did my ten year old kid really just call me on my bullshit?! I have to smile as I see a streak of pure Regina in him. Clearly he's made his point because he's getting ready to leave, a look on his face like he's just had a brain wave. I feel like I shouldn't ask what I'm about to but the desire to know the answer overrides the awkwardness.

"Henry would you really be OK with this? Me and your mom I mean?"

"I got my head around her being the Evil Queen, you two being in love is a piece of cake"

My heart swells with pride as I realise just how amazing my son is, I give him I wide smile as he runs out as fast as he ran in, nearly knocking Mary Margaret over in the process. Mary Margaret? Oh shit, this is not what I need right now.

"So this is where your hiding".

The fact that she's my "mother" and a teacher doubles the judgement and disapproval in her voice.

"You were with her weren't you? You went back and stayed the night?"

I give her a look that says "why ask questions when you already know the answer".

"What the hell do you think your doing?"

"We didn't _do_ anything".

"The fact that you smell like Chanel No. 5 suggests otherwise".

My insides turn somersaults, the fact that I smell like her hadn't escaped my attention. I had contemplated taking a shower but couldn't bear the thought of washing away the subtle trace of her, it was all I had left.

"We slept together but didn't _sleep_ together".

"Emma, clearly your not thinking straight"

Her choice of phrasing amuses me but she's to naïve to even realise.

"How many more times, nothing happened". The words feel thick in my throat as I know its not true. We may not have had sex, but something definitely happened.

"Well make sure it stays that way, I mean it Emma this can't happen".

I feel my jaw tense of its own accord. That felt like a threat or at the very least an order and I wasn't good at receiving either. I had woken up feeling very much of the same opinion, but hearing it from her made my fists clench.

"Why the hell not".

"Because it's wrong. Its wrong on so many levels and as soon as you start thinking of other people instead of yourself, you'll see that.

The front door opens with so much force I'm expecting someone bigger than Henry to be standing in the doorway.

"Mom come on you have to get dressed and get to Granny's"

I don't ask why as the reason is obvious.

"Quickly mom, come on". He continues as he practically pushes me up the stairs.

"Henry I thought we were giving her time?"

"change of plan"

"OK, so what's the new plan?"

"We have to stop her thinking"

I have absolutely no idea what he means by this, but go along with things anyway.

"We need a nice outfit".

I raise my eyebrows but all he says is "Trust me" and I do, so I keep quiet and follow his instructions. We go into my bedroom and Henry jumps excitedly on the bed while I go to the closet and pull out various outfits for his approval. After shaking his head at at least half a dozen options he finally nods and smiles when presented with a plain grey dress. It seems you can't go wrong with the classics. I smile as I'm sure I've seen the Sheriff check out the way this dress hugs my curves on more then one occasion. I rush to the bathroom and make myself as hot as possible in the shortest turn around time. When I emerge from the bathroom I do a dramatic twirl and Henry nods enthusiastically with a smile on his face so wide it looks like it should hurt. I feel my pulse race as all the pieces fall into place, I was on my way to seduce Emma. My little boy helping me to seduce his "mom" was sweet, in a sumwat inappropriate way. I run down the stairs, Henry on my heels and check my self over in the mirror one more time before slipping on a smart black blazer.

"Wish me luck!" I say almost out of breath from excitement.

"You don't need it, its meant to be, now go get her!"

I learn over to him and place my hands gently on his soft sweet face. I leave a crimson stamp of appreciation on his cheek and head out to get the girl.

I'm walking with such speed and purpose I'm convinced my stilettos will be and inch shorter by the time I arrive. I'm so giddy at the prospect of what I'm about to do that I'm amazed I can walk at all. I reach Granny's a take a moment to breathe deep and prepare myself but find myself distracted by raised voices coming from inside.

"Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Keep out of this, you don't know how I feel"

"How can you feel anything for that evil bitch?"

"Don't call her that, she's done some bad things I'm not pretending otherwise, but she's changing. I can see it even if you can't".

"Some bad things? Emma she's a monster"

"Whatever she is you made her. She saved your life, befriended you and asked one small favour in return. All she asked was that you keep her secret and you couldn't even do that".

"I was a child and Cora tricked me. You've met her what chance do you think I stood against her as a child?".

"I'm not saying it was intentional, but that doesn't stop it being true. You may still see her as the Evil Queen but I see the woman she really is. I see a woman who does the things she does out of love. I see the woman who raised Henry to be the great kid that he is and I see the woman I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with".

I stand outside completely dumbstruck by what I've just heard. Nothing that Mary Margaret had said had come as a surprise but Emma, I was still reeling from what she had said. I wanted to go inside, to throw my arms around her and thank her for defending me, but I didn't. I don't know if I was respecting their right to have this out without my interference or if my curiosity was taking over but I stayed where I was. Still close enough to hear if any more was said.

"Emma, you can't be serious".

"I've never been more serious and what's more, I have proof".

"Proof? That you and Regina are meant to be together?"

"Yeah its in Henry's book".

"Emma, that's a children's book its noy meant to be taken so seriously"

"Really, well tell me one thing its been wrong about?"

"That's really not the point"

"That's exactly the point"

"You can't use it as your sole reason for being in a relationship with some one".

"I'm not doing, the book doesn't really matter, we both knew we were meant to be together from the first the second we saw each other. The book just confirms it".

"You and this book! Enough already its not meant to be taken so literally!".

"Well you took it literally enough to start fucking another woman's husband".

I see a look on Mary Margaret's face I've never seen before, her eyes narrow and her whole body tenses. I close my eyes and brace myself for the hard slap I know is coming.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Miss Blanchard".

I open my eyes and see blood red nails in a vice like grip on Mary Margaret delicate wrist.

"Regina!" I feel the colour drain from my face. I have no idea what's going on in her mind. Is she still mad I left? If so why did she stop my receiving a well deserved slap?

"Sheriff Swan" She doesn't even turn to me when she addresses me. She still has Mary Margaret's wrist in a brutally tight grip. Even looking at the back of her head I know she is giving Mary Margaret one of her patented glares, the ones that bore right through you.

"Get your hands off me you psycho!". I hear Mary Margaret scream as she tries desperately to shake free from Regina's hold. Her whole hearted effort barely enough to misplace a hair on Regina's head.

"I suggest you calm down dear, your causing quiet a scene" Regina's voice sounds like dripping venom, its makes me shudder to think how easily she slips back into being her old self. I suddenly remember I'm not an innocent bystander and decide to intervene. I place one hand on Regina's hip while the other starts to prise her fingers from Mary Margerts red skin.

"Regina let her go" I say in a soft voice, the interception was well timed and romantic enough that I can't criticises her for it. She finally lets go of Mary Margaret's wrist and turns to face me. I was expecting to see anger, but the tone of her voice didn't match her expression. She was back to being my girl, the one only I see, the one I'm falling in love with.

"Regina I'm sorry, I'm so sorry". I'm apologising for everything, for leaving her, for airing our dirty linen in public, for everything.

Just as I start to drown in panic ridden apologises and stuttering explanation I feel her hands on my front, her delicate hands curling into fists around red leather. Was happens next is enough to make my brain stop. She kisses me hard, purposefully and in front of a diner full of slack jawed on lookers. It feels like its last a second but I know it lasted longer than could ever me classed as appropriate. I know where we are and who is there but I couldn't care less and couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it. Her hands have moved up and are now tangled in my soft blonde curls, while my hands, which started on her waist are now grabbing unapologetically at her amazing ass. She will insist on wearing that grey dress! We could have stayed like that for hours our hot wet tongues battling each other for dominance as eager hands explore previously forbidden curves. We are momentarily distracted by exaggerated throat clearing coming from behind us. "4 is vacant" ruby informs us with a quirk of her eyebrow, while dangling a room key from her finger. Regina smiles and takes the key, how she can still be so poised and authoritative with lipstick smeared all over her face and her dress creased from me feeling her up I'll never no, but she pulls it off perfectly and it only make me want her more.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Regina drags me from the diner with such force I fear she'll pull my arm from it's socket. Mary Margaret is close behind, her disgust mounting by the minute.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? This isn't over!"

"Damn right it isn't" I say to Mary Margaret but I keep my eyes on Regina, gently squeezing her hand for reassurance.

"Emma please think about what you're doing."

"All I've been doing is thinking. Contemplating problems before they even arise. I thought about Henry and how he would feel, I even thought about your reaction."

"Clearly you didn't think enough about my reaction."

"I did, I just expected more from you."

"You didn't really expect me to be happy about this did you?"

"Happy was perhaps a little ambitious, but I thought you would at least respect me enough to let me make my own choices."

"Even if those choices are mistakes?"

"That's not for you to say!" I was becoming exasperated by this conversation. Mary Margaret was giving no ground and her stubbornness was becoming tiresome.

Luckily for me I had an Evil Queen fighting my corner and she knew just when to step in. Out the corner of my eye I see Regina straighten her jacket and roll her eyes. Just because she was reforming didn't mean she had to enjoy it.

"Mary Margaret, I apologise for my behaviour just now. I'm sure you more than anyone will understand a persons desire to protect what they care about."

"I just find it hard to believe that you genuinely care about her".

"And I understand that. I don't think any mother would want her daughter bringing an Evil Queen home, let alone one she has such history with. I'm changing Mary Margaret. I don't expect you to believe me, but I am. Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you, to Emma, to anyone else still in doubt." I could see Mary Margaret wasn't buying it. She didn't want to give in but she knew her objections were having little effect. Still rubbing her wrist, her eyes glistening with tears, she simply nodded her head. Regina took that as acceptance but I knew it wasn't, it was admitting defeat and nothing more.

Me and Regina made our way to the B and B like a couple of horny teenagers. Stumbling off side-walks as we continued kissing and hearing horns blare as traffic is forced to halt in the street. We were all over each other, the recent encounter with Mary Margaret seemed only to have fuelled our desired. The public display of affection. The declaration of genuine emotions felt, it all served to step things up a notch. We fell into the room almost forgetting to close the door but my boot heel reached just in time to nudge it shut. Our passion had been ratcheted up to a dangerous level. I felt unspeakable consequence would be suffered if we didn't soon find release. Regina was laid on the bed, stretched out seductively. Her position may have implied submission but she still looked wild and strong enough that I felt I should proceed with caution. I felt like a kid in a sweet shop, eyes wide, senses swirling, mouth watering. I almost didn't know where to start. I decided on a passionate kiss, I may have be a little over eager but I wasn't an animal! Every time her lips met mine it sent bolts of electricity through me. She kissed my lips but my whole body felt it. Her hands were on every inch of me she could reach. I could hear her gasp and sigh as her fingertips moved over my quivering muscles. Even through clothing my definition was obvious and clearly having the desired effect. Clothing however was becoming a problem, I rolled quickly off the bed and started to undress. Regina was pouting in the most adorable way until she realised what I was doing. It may have been the head start but its more likely it was my desperate need that caused me to be naked while Regina had barely removed her heels. Her pausing to take in my exposed form only further slowed her movements. She stood up and turned her back to me, taking the hint I slowly closed the distance to unzip her dress. I moved the zipper slowly, the sound seemed to be amplified by the silence. As the expensive material pooled at her feet I noticed a distinct lack of underwear. I knew there was a reason why I loved this dress. I swallowed hard this had all of a sudden become very real. This is what I wanted, wanted so much it hurt but my fears were simmering just under the surface. As if she had read my mind Regina turned in my arms, so much affection in her eyes it made my heart throb. She gently put her hand to my face and placed a kiss on my lips so soft that if I hadn't tasted it I'd have questioned if it happened. She gently led me back to the bed where we positioned ourselves kneeling and facing each other. I wasn't expecting this. Hot, aggressive, rough sex that's how I assumed this would go.

Regina was so gentle, I had never seen such tenderness from her before and it moved me more than I thought it would. Her kisses were soft and lingering full of emotion and caring. She touched me like I was porcelain, like she was afraid I would break. As her tongue danced round mine and her hands travelled across my back I felt myself fall more and more. This type of magic I could definitely get used to. I had never felt so swept away by romance. I had never felt so much emotion during sex. I had never made love to anyone, until now. We were matching each others movements and it wasn't long till we both reached were we needed to be. Her soft, enticing kisses had stopped as she took the time to look at me. I was squirming under her gaze, I had never had anyone look at me like that.

"Look at me Emma." She said her voice sounding like dripping honey. I turned to look at her and was glad I did. Every small gesture and reassuring look was chiselling away at the barriers I had built. We were looking into each other eyes when I felt her hand move again, it had settled between my legs but was now gently caressing me. I was so aroused by it that I worried how I'd make it through the rest of the night. I mirrored her actions in an attempt to distract myself from how good this felt. It didn't work, stroking my hand down satin soft skin and feeling a small patch of curls become sticky and damp did nothing to control my libido. We stayed like that for a while, gazing into each others eyes, exchanging sweet kisses, pouring our hearts out without saying a word. I circled her clit with my middle finger, loving the look on her face as I did, eyes flickering, full crimson lips slightly parted, I knew I needed more. I used the arm that was wrapped around her to pull her close for a long and passionate kiss, as our lips parted I searched her eyes for permission to continue. Her eyes were black, not like they used to be, full of hate and rage but full of lust and arousal. It was all the go ahead I needed. I slowly moved my fingers back and found she was ready for me, dripping wet and throbbing so hard I'm sure I could feel it. Our eyes met again and this time stayed locked as I tentatively slid two fingers into her. The indescribable feeling of being inside her was so intense it almost caused me to involuntarily pull out. Our wordless promise to keep eye contact was soon forgotten as her head fell back and her eyes rolled. She was riding against my fingers, slowly rocking back and fourth. This was bliss, this I realised is what its all about. She was giving herself to me completely and from now on I would do the same. I could feel her hand struggling to move between our bodies, so I learned back slightly and moved my knees wider. I could see she was hesitant but clearly the look on my face conveyed how much I needed her as she slowly filled me with two fingers. My eyes had fluttered close despite my best attempts to keep them open. My head fell forward onto her shoulder. I felt moisture on my face and assumed it was the sweat that was now starting to cover us both in a glittering sheen. It wasn't until I struggled to open my eyes again and found my vision blurred that I realised the moisture was my tears. I didn't want her to look at me, to make a big deal of this. I didn't want her thinking I was weak or foolish for being so overwhelmed I couldn't control my emotions. Yet again I underestimate her and fail to realise how perfect this all is. I hear her sniff softly into my hair and I don't need to look to know its because she is holding tears back too. We ride out our orgasms in sync, locking eyes at the moment of climax, the emotional euphoria more than making up for lack of wild, unbridled lust. There would be time for that later. This was about the final piece of the puzzle, the last bit of proof needed to show we were meant to be. What we had just experienced together was something special, something we knew neither had felt before. We stayed where we were, we had no place to be so in each others arms is where we stayed. We were still holding each other, and still buried deep inside each other. Neither of us wanted to move, so we just enjoyed the intimacy. When we finally did move we made it as far as laying down, as I wrapped myself round Regina and a blanket round us both, I wondered how I ever had the strength to walk away from her. That would never need to be thought of again. I felt safe, I felt loved and I felt like I was home. Home however was going to be a problem. Regina fell asleep in my arms almost instantly, looking young and happy and peaceful. It was then more then ever I wished for Mary Margaret to find a way to except this, if she gave me an ultimatum she wouldn't like the choice I'd make. Regina is my choice and always would be.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

I sat bolt upright in bed, feeling sick with panic. The fact that Emma wasn't next to me seemed unimportant, at that moment Henry was my only concern. I got out of bed and dressed quickly, it wasn't until I was fully dressed that it occurred to me to check my phone. I pressed the button to retrieve my voice mail and at that point I don't know who's voice I wanted to hear more.

_Hi mom, I'm stopping the night at Mary Margaret's so you and Emma take as long as you need to figure this out. Also Mary Margaret told me what happened at Granny's. Don't worry I'll talk to her, but mom, you need to learn to control your temper. _

That was Henry's message, short and to the point, with just enough room to remind me to keep my cool. I wanted to rush over there, I knew Mary Margaret didn't approve and the last thing I wanted was for her to stir things with Henry. I sat on the bed contemplating my next move, should I pick up Henry, should I call Emma, I didn't know what to do. I finally decided to head home. Henry was fine where he was and who knows maybe he would be able to talk Mary Margaret round, he could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. I did the walk of shame home, the walk had never felt so long or so shameful. I was devastated, how could she do this to me again. We had made love, we had cried in each others arms and then she just walks away, again. Last night I felt like I would have followed her to any realm, faced any danger. I felt like if running away every night was what she needed to do it didn't matter, because every morning I'd run after her. But what's the point in that? why run after someone? if they keep running they are trying to tell you something. I knew what that something was, but I didn't want to face it. The thought was to hideous to bear. I made my way into the house and was two steps up the staircase before I heard sounds coming from my kitchen. I was about to break my promise to Henry and use dark magic to get rid of the intruder when I heard something that made me stop...and laugh.

_I wanna love you, but I better not touch_

_I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much_

_I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous, poison_

Poison, seriously, of all the guilty pleasure 80's rock she could choose from, she chooses poison. It was the lyrics that gave it away, based on the "tune" It could have been anything! Looks like I was right, she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

"Should I be listening for a subliminal message?"

She turns from whatever she is doing at the stove and greets me with a warm, genuine smile. Just for a second it escapes my mind that I was ever mad at her.

"About time, I was just about to call you."

She comes over to me and with both her sticky hands out at her sides so she doesn't get me sticky and gives me a peck on the lips, like we've been doing this every morning for years.

"Then why didn't you call?"

"And say what? Baby come home asap because I've broken in to make you pancakes?"

"Baby? You may need to rethink that, I don't really think its me."

"I do." she says as she places a gentle kiss on my cheek, which is now blushing uncontrollably. She goes back to cooking, what she's still trying to claim are pancakes. She looks so cute moving round the kitchen utterly clueless with no idea what she is doing. She presents the "pancakes" with a proud expression, I know I should appreciate the gesture but I'm not really interested in them. The niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach over her leaving, takes away any hunger I felt.

"Dig in" She says as she pushes a forkful of food into her mouth.

"I appreciate the gesture Emma, but I'm not really hungry."

I don't think its what I said but how I said it that gets her to look up. She swallows the pancake, puts

her fork down and gives me her full attention.

"Your mad that I left aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. You left me before and that hurt enough, to let me think you had done it again was just plain cruel. Take it from someone who knows more than enough about cruelty."

"I sorry, I guess I just figured after the night we had you'd have realised I wouldn't have walked out on you."

"But you did walk out on me and for what? Inedible pancakes? I appreciate the thought but waking up in your arms would have been a better start to the day."

"You think all this was just about pancakes? I figured things were to raw for you to see Mary Margaret so I went, to see if she had calmed down any and to check on Henry of course. I paid for the room in case you didn't feel like facing Ruby and then I came here to make breakfast to surprise you. I was trying to show that I'm capable of being grown up and taking care of things."

I felt so bad, I had made such a big deal over her leaving that it never occurred to me that she might have been doing all the things I was dreading having to face. I shook my head in disbelief at my own stupidity.

"Emma I'm so sorry. I should have realised that you weren't running again."

"Don't apologise, it's fine, I do have form. If there is ever a next time I promise I'll leave a note."

I smile as I realise how gracious she was about that, she could have escalated it into and argument but she didn't and I was grateful for that.

"So how's Henry?"

"He's fine, still adamant he's going to be able to talk Mary Margaret round."

"Do you think he'll be able to?"

"I don't know and if I'm honest right now I don't care."

"Emma you don't mean that."

"Yes I do, after 28 years of having nothing to do with me the first time I need her support and she turns her back on me. If that's how she wants it that's fine, I managed this far without her."

"Emma this isn't a mother/daughter conflict about not doing chores. This is going to be a lot for her to get her head around."

"Its hardly a walk in the park for us. However hard she's finding this she has to realise it's a big deal for us as well. I just thought she'd have been more supportive."

Her heads drops and I know she's hurting. This current situation is doing nothing to help the rejection she's felt all her life. I stand up and extend my hand, she accepts and I pull her from her seat so we are stood facing each other. I wrap my arms round her shoulders and bring her close to me. I hold her gently hoping the action is reassurance enough, because I can't find any words to make this better. We learn back slightly to look at each other and I move a strand of blonde hair away from her face. I kiss her softly hoping she understands everything I'm trying to say with it. I don't want to make her feel awkward and she seems to feel better now so I make an attempt to move from her arms, only to be stopped in my tracks. The wicked look in her eyes is stronger then the grip of her arms and all of a sudden moving away from her is the last thing I want to do. She kisses me in a way that leaves me breathless and slides her hands up my legs, hoisting me up till I'm sitting on the kitchen table. She's very different from how she was last night. The realisation that she was deliberately, and slowly taking the time to make love to me makes my heart flutter. However, that being said, its nice to know she can kick it up a gear when needed. She's all over me, all wild kisses and rough hands and I'm loving every second. She's moving her way down, kissing my stomach like my dress isn't even there. I hear the scraping of a chair being moved and realise she's managed to hook her leg round a chair leg to bring it close enough so she can sit. I am now quivering uncontrollably just at the thought of what's about to happen. Last night was so intimate but this, in its own way is maybe more intimate and I'm not sure I'm ready. One long stroke of her tongue up my right thigh and I can't even think about whatever it was I was thinking about. The anticipation is so intense it causes ringing in my ears, its not until she stops what she's doing and learns back in her seat that I realise it was her cell that was ringing. She answers the call with annoyance clear in her tone, nothing like the annoyance I feel laid out like thanksgiving dinner while she stops for a chat!

"Mary Margaret is this urgent? because I'm right in the middle of something."

She says from between my legs, giving me a cheeky grin as her fingers stroke the inside of my thigh. I give her a sexy smirk and a raised eyebrow in reply just before her actions cause my head to roll back in pleasure.

"Yeah, OK, fine we'll be at yours in 20 minutes."

The shock of hearing I'll only have about 5 minutes of enjoyment makes my head snap back to focus on her. I move my leg to give her playful kick in the ribs indicating I'd like more time. The kick has more impact then intended as I forgot to take my heels off. I see her wince and struggle not to swear down the phone, the hand that was on my thigh is now rubbing at her ribs. I know her look is supposed to convey anger but its nothing but adorable as her brows furrow and her bottom lip protrudes.

"You know on second thoughts I'm gonna need longer, nearer 45. OK see you then."

She hangs up her cell, still pouting over the slight tap her ribs received. It wasn't that hard a kick, she's just exaggerating.

"Why did you kick me? I knew it was Mary Margaret I had to answer it, it might have been important."

I don't like this new grown up Emma Swan. Putting important family issues before my sexual satisfaction is not acceptable. I try to move from the table only to find myself pinned by one of Emma's strong hands.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks with a devilish grin.

"To get ready, if I'm not mistaken Mary Margaret is expecting us."

"Not for another 45 minutes. 10 to get cleaned up, 5 to drive there, which leaves 30 left."

I so badly want to take back control. I want to get off the table and get ready leaving her to regret even taking the call but I can't. The look of pure desire in her eyes is making me weak, so as she slowly starts to push me back on the table I allow it to happen. She slowly lowers her head between my legs her self control certainly more impressive then mine would be. I can feel her soft blonde curls cascading over my hips and thighs as she gently places her mouth on me. I had never experienced such an amazing feeling. Emma's kisses were always passionate, commanding and full of need and desire, so when applied to my most intimate area it was enough to make me see stars.

This was a new experience and one I knew I would never tire of. I felt her strong hands around my hips, her shoulder muscles rippling under my thighs and as she completely devoured me I couldn't help but think she was enjoying this as much as I was. It didn't take me long to completely surrender, my hips rolling up as her face moved down. I should have been worried for her safety, breathing had to be an issue but with every strong possessive lick I became less and less concerned.

I could feel my orgasm build, surprised all she needed to use was her mouth. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me as I held on tight to soft curls. She was standing up before my after shocks had subsided, my arousal evident on her face. She wrapped her arms around my weak trembling body and held me close.

"That. Was. Amazing. Thank you." I said barely able to breathe.

"You. Are. Welcome. She looked into my eyes and I knew instantly she could see the truth.

"No one has ever done that to you before have they?" I look at the floor and shake my head.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was embarrassed, why does it matter anyway?"

"OK, first of all you can talk to be about anything, I never want you to be embarrassed. Secondly, if you'd have told me I would have made it special and thirdly how can it never have happened before?"

"That was special Emma, trust me. I suppose it didn't happen before because when I was with Daniel I was young and it probably wasn't the done thing for men to do."

I gave her a kiss and tasted myself on her lips, the sensation arousing me more then I thought it would.

"Special considering your ass was in pancakes. What about Graham didn't he ever try?"

I looked at the table behind us still laid out with breakfast. The aforementioned pancakes millimetres from my ass.

"Believe me it'll improve the taste."

"I don't doubt it!" Emma says as she gives me a long slow kiss.

"So what about Graham, did he ever try?"

"A few times yes, but I had no desire for him to perform such an intimate act." I silently hoped that she had asked all her questions by her silence and beaming smile clearly she had and was pleased with the answers. The time had got away from us so we rushed to get ready. I was fixing my make up in the mirror when I felt Emma slide her arms around me. I looked at her in the mirror and saw her eyes fill with lust, as she ground her hips into my ass.

"Get it out your system Sheriff, I doubt your mother wants to see any more PDA's." I say as I turn to face her, the scent of my own arousal hitting me instantly.

"Emma! Go wash your face!"

"Why?"

"Because, I'm all over it is why." She looks like she going to throw a full blown tantrum.

"How close do you think people are going get?"

"Just go and wash it please." God she's like a child sometimes.

We drive to Mary Margaret and sit in the car for a while. We have no idea how this is going to go.

"If it gets to much just let me know and we can leave." Emma assures me.

"Its fine, I know we have to face this I'm just glad we're doing it together."

With that we exit the car and prepare ourselves for whatever is coming.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Henry runs to us the second we're through the door.

"I'm so glad your here." He says as we both bend down to give him a hug.

"Hey kid, is it safe for us to come in?"

"I think so, but she hasn't really said anything."

I run my hand through his hair as I make my way to the kitchen. Mary Margaret is pouring coffee, I push it aside and reach for the Merlot. It's past midday and I think we're going to need it. I feel annoyed that she didn't come over to welcome us. She'll probably make the excuse she was giving us time with Henry but I still can't help but feel it wasn't the best way to start.

"How did things go? Did she run away again?"

"Only to make pancakes."

He looks at me like he doesn't quite understand and asks how they were.

"Don't ask" I say with a smile as we make our way to the couch.

"Henry I want you to know I'm sorry for how I behaved at Granny's."

"It's not me you need to say sorry to."

"I know and I've already apologised to Mary Margaret."

"Good, but seriously mom you need to control your temper."

"I know and I'm trying." I put my hand on his and look at him. "I promise, I'm trying."

I look over to Regina and Henry who seem to be having a heart to heart. Who could possibly see her as evil now? The affection she shows him is heart warming and I feel my expression soften as I watch them.

"I can't believe how different they are together." Mary Margaret says as she pours herself a glass of wine.

"I told you she was changing."

"I'm still not convinced."

"You don't need to be, me and Henry are and that's all that matters."

"So you don't care at all about my opinion?"

"Not really, no."

I head over to Regina and Henry loving how just being sat near them calms me immediately. Mary Margaret's self righteous bullshit was already getting on my last nerve.

Things are awkward. No one really knows where to start or what to say. Regina looks at me and rolls her eyes. I feel the same, I could be at home right now buried face first in my girlfriends delicious pussy instead of sitting here in awkward silence. Referring to Regina's house as home makes me smile and thinking back to breakfast makes my mouth water.

"Henry why don't you take that game I got you into Emma's room? See if you can clear level 3."

Henry is smart enough to take the hint and leaves the grown ups to talk. Mary Margaret would never admit it but I know she's impressed by Regina not wanting to have this out with little ears around. Henry might be a smart kid but he's a kid all the same and doesn't need dragging into our mess.

"Is David not joining us?" Regina asks as she sips her wine.

"He's working" Mary Margaret offers with only a basic level of civility.

I can't spend the entire time looking at Regina and thinking how sexy she looks drinking red wine, so I decide to find out what the purpose of this meeting actually is.

"So, what's this all about?"

Mary Margaret looks down at her glass, like she wasn't prepared for that question. Considering she called us over you'd have thought she'd have known the reason why.

"I want you both to know how sorry I am."

Its a good job she's still looking at her glass, so she doesn't see the shocked expressions on our faces.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted. I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive but I'm most sorry about the fact that I don't think I'll ever be able to except this."

OK so now we are slightly less shocked, this is the part we pretty much saw coming.

I stand up instantly, glass of wine still in hand and down the lot, slamming the empty on the table so hard it's a wonder it didn't smash.

"Come on baby, we're leaving." I say as I grab Regina's hand.

"Wait, you can't leave, we need to talk about this." Mary Margaret's desperation is clear as she tries to hold back tears.

"If you are rejecting Regina and our relationship then you're rejecting me as well. Nothing more to say. Regina go wait in the car."

"I'm staying right here!" Regina growls as she stands next to me, gripping her glass so hard I'm sure I hear it crack.

"Look Emma, look at her reaction, this is who she is. This is what she does, she destroys peoples lives."

"She isn't destroying mine, she's making me happier then I ever knew I could be."

"And what about Henry? He was so miserable he went all the way to Boston to track down the woman who gave him up! Exactly how many years of neglect and abuse do you think he suffered to be driven to that?"

By this point I am seriously worried for Mary Margaret. I would like to think Regina will throw her drink at her and storm out dramatically, but let's not kid ourselves. It is much more likely that she'll down the drink and throw the glass at her! I put my hand on her arm and how much its shaking lets me know how close she is to losing it.

"Don't you ever speak about my son again."

Regina's voice is so deep and commanding only a fool would challenge her further.

"He's not your son! He's Emma's son." At this point _I_ wanted to glass Mary Margaret. Punishment for her sheer stupidity if nothing else.

"Henry is OUR son!" I say hoping that this will finally get the message through her thick head.

The mention of his name alerts us all to the fact this is a small apartment and we've been shouting.

"Hey kid, come on me and your mom are taking you home."

He comes running to me and Regina, shooting his grandmother a narrow eyed stare over his shoulder. I was pleased he was still on our side, but knew how much that look had hurt Mary Margaret.

We're almost out the door before Mary Margaret's mind completely fails her and she grabs Regina by the arm.

"I will not let you take away the people I love."

"Neither will I! Do yourself a favour Snow White and think back to what happened the last time you meddled in my love life!"

I see Mary Margaret swallow hard and release her grip, clearly remembering all to well the repercussions of her actions.

Regina slams the door shut behind us. Our eyes meet and we both fear this has escalated to the point

of no return.

Once home we settle Henry, after all the excitement all he wanted was milk, cookies and a nap. I move to Regina hoping my arms will offer comfort, but she moves away.

"Talk to me Regina."

"About what?"

I roll my eyes. I thought I was meant to be the emotionally cut off one. I just look at her giving her all the time she needs to continue.

"All that woman ever talks about is not being able to forgive me, it never enters her head that I can't forgive her. She took everything from me Emma and I won't let her do it again".

I try to stay sympathetic to her ordeal but in some ways she doesn't know how lucky she is. My lack of reaction gets her attention.

"OK your turn." she says as she joins me on the couch and gently holds my hand.

"You don't know how lucky you are." The words are out my mouth before I even realise how they would sound. I feel her grip on my hand tighten. The recent events effecting her reaction.

"I didn't mean that how it sounded."

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I meant the people you loved were taken from you, it was nothing you did. All the people in my life left of there own accord. Do you know what that's like? Having everyone you care about make the _choice_ to leave you."

I know this admission is breaking her heart but I've seen all the baggage she brings with her now its time to see if she can handle mine.

"No, I don't know what that's like. I can't even begin to imagine the damage it does."

"Let's just say a lot. It makes it hard for me to trust people I assume people are going to leave me." I can tell she's about to interrupt and tell me she'll never leave but I continue before she has chance.

"I know you're not going to. I'm just saying others have and that's difficult to get over."

She is now rubbing my back and I've never been so put at ease by such a simple display of affection. We sit on the couch and just hold each other, today's events have opened up a lot of old wounds for us both. We both know there is more to say but not now, now we just want to be close. Neither of us are big on talking about our feelings and sometimes its better to feel someone's support instead of hearing it.

There is something about Emma's strong arms wrapped round me that brings out my inner eye lash fluttering girly girl. I knew now wasn't the time. We were bonding, connecting over abandonment issues and increasing our emotional closeness. This was not the time to be thinking about returning the favour from earlier. Besides, I doubt the kitchen table could withstand much more. But after months of electric sexual tension every time her body was pressed against mine I felt the passion rising inside of me. I decide to chance my arm.

"Why don't we go to bed for an hour or two?" I ask innocently, like I'm suggesting a nap.

"I'm not really tired." The innocent expression on her face is utterly adorable.

"Neither am I." I purr into her ear, even if she wanted to she couldn't deny her reaction. I felt her body tremble. She swallows hard and nods slowly.

"Wait, there's still some tidying to do it the kitchen."

"That's what your thinking of? I'm suggesting hot middle of the day sex and you want to do the dishes?"

"I don't _want_ to but they need doing."

"So do I! They'll still be here later, they're not going anywhere."

My mind immediately flashes back to our recent conversation and I wish I could swallow the words back down. She has made her way to the kitchen and is banging and crashing about, she may not be big on talking but she gets her point across.

I wrap my arms around her from behind and rest my chin on her shoulder as she fills the sink with water. The fact that she hasn't pushed me away is encouraging, maybe all is not lost.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I shouldn't have said that we can take as long as needed cleaning, because I'm not going anywhere either."

"My point was, this will take ten minutes. What I have in store for you will take considerably longer. I would just feel happier knowing this was already done first."

"And quite right to, It just surprised me, I had no idea you were so anal."

She looks at me, dimples just visible as she tries not to burst out laughing. I however am turning a very fetching shade of mortified!

"I was easing you in gently." She says with such a mischievous gleam in her eye it helps take away my embarrassment. I give her a playful nudge anyway and set about helping her.

"It's OK baby, I've got this. Go keep the bed warm, I'll be with you in a few.

I practically skip upstairs, treating myself to a backwards glance and enjoying the sight of my swaggering Sheriff becoming a domestic goddess.

I hear Regina make her way upstairs, the creaking floorboards telling me she had made it to the bedroom. I keep looking over my shoulder, even though I know she's out of sight. I dry my hands and reach for my cell. I feel weak and my hands are shaking as I type out a text.

_I still owe you a favour. I can't do this. _


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N**** – OK, so it seems a few people weren't happy with the last chapter. I didn't want people getting bored so was trying to create a bit of drama and obviously made a mess of it so, I've done a bit of re writing in the hopes I can get us back on track and a lot happier with this one :) Thank you for all the support it means a lot. ****Also I apologise for long wait for update but I had to do a lot of rewriting to do and things were a little manic work wise, I hope you guys are understanding and forgiving about that. Thanks x**

Chapter 7 

I still feel sick with guilt as I make my way upstairs. I know what's waiting for me and I should be running in eager anticipation, but I'm not. I open the door to the bedroom, hating that my body betrays me by reacting, even when I was trying desperately not to. Regina is bending over to take her heels off, the last item of clothing to be removed. My mouth dries instantly as moisture floods to another area of my body.

"You were gone to long"

"Five minutes?"  
"Yes, five minutes is to long"

I smile despite myself and start to undress. I am clearly taking far to long so Regina takes over, practically ripping the clothes off my body. I'm standing at the end of the bed, my jeans collected at my ankles, It isn't until Regina is on her knees in front of me that her intentions are made clear. I can feel her breathing against me in shallow, desperate breaths. Her soft hair is gently tickling my thighs, her hands are slowly caressing the backs of my legs and my ass and all her actions combined are enough to make my knees buckle.

I put my hand on her head in the hopes it would convey that I wanted her to stop. But hearing a guttural moan escape through full, pouting lips is enough to make me move as close as my denim restraints will allow. She drags her tongue along my stomach and I hear her growl, her warm breath dries the trail of moisture on my skin and I know she feels my body react.

I want this so badly. I want to give myself to her completely, but I can't not until she knows the truth. Showing a level of self control I didn't know I had I slowly move her head away from me, the look in her beautiful brown eyes enough to make me lose any strength I thought I'd found.

I sit on the bed before realising our current position and state of undress, I stand on trembling legs just long enough to pull up my jeans. I need to say this and I need to have her undivided attention.

"Regina wait." I say, my voice trembling as much as the rest of me.

"I've waited long enough, I need to taste you Emma, please." Her voice is thick with desire.

"I want you to baby, you have no idea how much but there is something I need to tell you."

The hand that I've placed tenderly on her cheek frames her pleading eyes and amplifies the emotion they show. At this point I don't know what she's more desperate for, the truth or for her plan of seduction to resume.

I look to the floor and take a deep breath, I knew all along what heartbreak did to her, what her reaction to it usually was but I never expected I'd do anything to cause it.

"Sweetheart whatever it is you can tell me."

I take a second to enjoy her loving patience because something told me it wasn't going to last.

"That night when I came to your house, it wasn't just because I felt bad. I did feel bad but that wasn't the only reason."

She sits back, a puzzled expression on face.

"What was the other reason?" She asks with trepidation and I can tell she's afraid of what the answer will be.

"Gold." Its all I can say and all I need to say. I have never seen anyone look like she does now. Seething rage mixed with pure devastation. She stands up wraps a silk robe round herself and throws my jacket at me before I can even respond.

"Regina please hear me out."

"Get out Emma, before I do something I can't take back."

Her level of anger surpasses hysterical shouting, but her whole body shaking is letting me know I should leave. She wasn't making idle threats mid argument, she was simply reminding me what she's capable of.

"Regina I'm sorry. I can explain everything, if you just let me."

She shoots me a look that could cut through steel and I know I'm on borrowed time.

"When your ready I'll explain everything, I promise."

I reach out to touch her arm and she flinches away, I truly believe that hurt me more then anything else she could have done.

I collect up the rest of my clothes and run out the house, tears already impairing my vision. I get in my car and sob so hard it makes my ribs hurt. I look at the house and for a moment I think I see her watching me through the window. I wipe my eyes to see for certain, she is watching me but the look on her face tells me that in my car outside her house is no where near far enough away. I drive to Mary Margaret's, hating that I have no where else to go. I don't want to answer any questions the endlessly inquisitive Ruby will no doubt ask, but right now its the lesser of two evils so I change route and head to Granny's B+B.

I lay on the bed almost drowning in tears, the familiarity of the room only reminds me of Regina and the beautiful experience we shared.

I couldn't sleep, relax, do anything other than cry, so I decided to make my way into work. Storybrooke was usually low on crime and I had no reason to believe today would be any different, but I needed to do something to distract myself from the pain.

I pull myself together enough to pass for a basic level of presentable, my appearance really the last thing on my mind and make my way to the office. The cold building, which never really felt welcoming, felt even more hostile when faced alone, with nothing but a broken heart for company.

As I take a break from retrieving phone messages, I hear footsteps in the corridor. My heart starts to race as I hope it's Regina. As the footsteps draw closer and become easier to hear I know it's not her. Her walk is unmistakable. Strong, even, confident strides and these don't sound like that. The hypnotic sound of stilettos clicking is also missing, replaced instead by a walk with a pause and a clicking that sounds like its caused by a cane.

"Good afternoon Sheriff. I'm glad I found you, it seems you and I have business to discuss. I must confess I was rather confused by the message I received from you."

I was out of my chair in a flash, grabbing him by the throat, restricting his breathing with his own silk tie. For a split second I felt bad, the guy walked with a cane it was hardly a fair fight. All it took was a swift swipe of that cane against my shins and I realised I shouldn't have felt bad at all. It still didn't feel like a fair fight but the odds now seemed in his favour.

The sharp pain in my lower legs is enough to make me instantly let go of him. His expression is how it usually is smug, sneering and difficult to read.

"If you've calmed down perhaps we can have a sensible conversation?"

"A sensible conversation? About what? The fact that you with your stupid deals has screwed up peoples lives once again?!"

"Forgive my ignorance, but I have no idea as to what you are referring. I was under the impression that you and Mayor Mills were very much enjoying each others company."

"We are... we were...we're not any more, its all over now and its all your fault."

"I must be missing something because I fail to see how a dispute between the two of you can in anyway be my fault. I think this maybe something for which you yourself are to blame and it may not be for me to say but serious arguments this early on can't possibly be a good sign."

"No it isn't for you to say, and you making me take that damn potion makes this your fault! What the hell was in that stuff anyway?"

"Miss Swan, creating magic potions is an incredibly complicated practice. Formulating the right ingredients, in the right doses, it really is quite technical."

I roll my eyes, hoping he'll take the hint and get to the point.

"So what did you give me?"

"Water."

"Water? As in, just water, nothing else?"

"Well if it makes you feel better it was Evian."

"Then how...?"

"How what? Did you find yourself magically drawn to Regina? The magic was always there. Think back to how the portal was opened in the first place. Regina couldn't do it alone, but when you touched her arm she could. I don't know if it's because Henry's book has foretold it or if its just the painfully obvious chemistry, but whatever is happening between the two of you needs no help from anyone, mystical or otherwise."

"Then why trick me? Why not let it happen naturally?"

"Time was of the essence Miss Swan and with all due respect you were taking forever and a day to make your move. You seem to always feel the need to do the right thing. You need to feel that whatever your doing is for the greater good, not just your own personal happiness. The attraction was apparent from the second you met. However you didn't feel you could pursue a romantic relationship until you read it in the book. Your quite frankly to noble for your own good."

"I still don't understand, why is time of the essence and what do you get out of it?"

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending...My reasons are none of your concern Miss Swan. Just take comfort in knowing that our business is concluded. Now if you'll excuse me I have other matters to attend to, but I do hope you and Regina find a way to reconcile, for all our sakes."

And with that he walked away, leaving me more confused then before.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

My cells rings from under a pile of paperwork, on the partially concealed screen I see the letter R and think it's Regina.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I need you to know I wasn't lying to you, every..."

"Whoa, Em slow down it's me."

"Ruby?"

"Yeah, sorry to disappoint."

"No it's not that I just thought you were..."

"Regina?"

"Yeah."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"You have no idea."

"Looks like this call is well timed then. Drinks tonight?"

"I'm really not in the mood."  
"Not in the mood for beer? This is serious. Look Emma whatever has happened between you and Regina, hiding away isn't going to help. Talk to me, that's what friends are for. You never know it might make you feel better."

Maybe Ruby was right, wallowing in self pity wasn't doing me any good. Maybe a night out with a friend is just what I needed.

"OK you win, I'll see you tonight."

I went through the motions for the rest of the day, glad that nothing had happened that required any actual police work. When it got near clocking off time I thought about heading straight for the bar, the thought of a cold beer and sympathetic ear was becoming more appealing by the minute. I changed my mind and decided to go back to Mary Margaret's and get cleaned up. Having to tolerate her interfering seemed a high price to pay for a clean shirt but I couldn't avoid her forever.

I walked straight through to the bathroom and started the shower running, I threw my dirty clothes in the corner of my room while the water heated up. The hot jets felt good against my skin like they were washing away a multitude of sins. Through the rushing of the water I heard the door open and I know its Mary Margaret, I roll my eyes even though I know she can't see me. This was meant to be a quick shower but right now I feel like staying here as long as the hot water lasts if it means not having to deal with her.

I rinse the last of the conditioner out of my hair, wrap a towel round myself and move to my bedroom. Still wrapped in only a towel I start drying my hair, hoping the noise from my hair dryer will deter her from attempting conversation. It seems to do the trick but not for long because as soon as the noisy device is turned off I hear a soft knocking on my bedroom door.

"Give me ten minutes, I'm still getting dressed."

"Of course, I didn't mean to interrupt. Its just that...I really want to talk to you if you have a minute before you go out."

I give a heavy sigh that she would definitely have heard and tell her I'll see how I'm doing for time. My need for alcohol becoming more urgent by the minute.

By the time I had poured myself into a pair of jeans and located a shirt that was not only clean but didn't need ironing I was running late, although something told me Mary Margaret's need to discuss the elephant in the room would override her concern at my potential tardiness.

"Before you start, I'm meeting someone and I'm already late so whatever you need to say is going to have to wait."

I was out the door before she could even react. I had a pretty good idea that whatever she wanted to say would develop into a long and involved conversation and I really didn't have the time or patience for that right now. Having to deal with the fraught situation between me and my "mother" should have been something I was grateful for as it had helped to distract me from missing Regina. I was missing her like crazy. I was checking my phone constantly, even though I knew the phones setting would have alerted me to any calls or texts. I was praying for a phone call, even one where she was screaming at me. I missed her voice. I even missed the arguments. It was great when things changed but part of me did miss our old ways. Having that kind of intensity lets you both know you care enough to react strongly. I did something terrible, I kept the truth from her and she hadn't even cared enough to send some bitchy texts.

I could feel tears in my eyes as I entered the bar and for once I didn't care enough to try and hide them or blame the weather for my watering eyes. My heart was broken and my pride was of no importance. I made my way over to Ruby, who was sitting in a secluded booth at the back of the bar. She was three quarters down her beer and if I had been two minutes later no doubt she would have made a start on the one she got for me. I sit down opposite her, there are loads of things I want to say and I know I should. Thanks for the beer. Thanks for the invite. Sorry I'm late. Thanks for not mentioning that I look like I've been crying. Being my usual self I find it hard to say any of those things so I just give her a small smile and hope she knows me well enough to translate. It seems she does as she smiles back and gently places her hand on mine. We just sit in silence for a while. I was happy to be somewhere other then Mary Margaret's and Ruby was happy to be away from Granny's for the night, so we sit and drink and lose ourselves in our thoughts and surroundings. I notice Ruby looking over my shoulder at a table of guys sitting by the door. I assume she is picking her prey for the night out of the unsuspecting guys available.

"See something you like?"

"Actually no, but I see a hell of a lot I don't."

"That's not like you Rubes, surely one of them will do as a one nighter or a quick snack."

"Not funny Em, when it's wolf time I could eat the lot without stopping for breath. When it isn't, I'm _one_ normal girl and they are a table of _six_ drunken jocks and I've seen enough horror movies to know how that ends."

"Correction, one normal girl with the town Sheriff as her drinking buddy. We can leave if they're bothering you."

"No, we were here first besides your right I'm sure we can handle ourselves if needs be."

"I can see they're still bothering you, move down and I'll come sit next to you."

"OK and what were you hoping that would achieve?"

"I dunno, they might think we're together and back off."

"You think the mental image of us two fucking is going to get us _less_ attention?"

"I was just trying to help. Jesus Ruby don't you start, I already have enough women giving me hassle without you starting too."

"I'm sorry Em, I didn't mean to be harsh. I guess those idiots are just really putting me on edge. I might have to swap teams, women have to be less trouble, right?"  
"You are kidding me? You think women are less trouble? Maybe not all of them are complicated and troubled but you do remember who I'm involved with right?"

"Finally we get to it. What the hell is going on with you two?"

I take a deep breath and start at the beginning, I fill her in on all the details no matter how trivial they seem. I suppose its because I hope that when I'm done she'll take my side because what I really need right now is someone _not _hating me.

She listens patiently, nodding in all the right places, asking occasional questions for clarification but other than that letting me vent. She only breaks eye contact when needed, to get the waitresses attention to order more drinks. By the time I've finished relaying the entire saga to her my throat feels dry, despite the six beers that I've consumed. I feel a little more relaxed and definitely relieved. How much is to do with sharing my anguish and how much is to do with the drink I'll never know. I excuse myself to use the bathroom, the act of standing reminding me just how much I've had to drink. I also can't seem to remember when I last ate, no wonder people say that heartbreak is the best diet.

I make my way back to the table and see that the drunken dickheads have ceased their opportunity and in my absence have swooped in like vultures. It isn't often you see Ruby looking vulnerable, but I suppose under all that bravado and the fact that every full moon she turns into a wolf, she really is like any other young girl.

I push past the guys surrounding her and learn in to give her a peck on the cheek. It was supposed to deter but I think Ruby was right, it seemed only to raise their level of interest in us. After a few pointless minutes of them trying to convince us that we 'wouldn't be dykes after a night with them' the losers finally seem to except it isn't going to happen and return to their seats, whilst muttering complaints about something being 'a fucking waste'.

I can see Ruby is upset. Perhaps she's more sensitive then I thought or maybe its the thought of what she'll do next full moon if she finds them that scares her.

I have one hand on her leg and the other rubbing her back. It is nothing more than one friend reassuring another but to drunken guys it looks like a lot more.

"I see what Regina sees in you. All sexy swagger one minute then all sensitive the next, pretty much the perfect combination." I smile at her compliment, it felt like years since anyone had paid me one.

"Don't think that's how she sees me, certainly not now anyway."

"Emma you haven't done anything wrong."  
"That sweet of you to say Rubes, but we both know its not entirely true."

"All you did was protect yourself. You knew Gold would always want his favour, this was about the best favour he could have asked for. You didn't know Regina was going to change and if she did how long the change would last. If all this ended up failing at least you could have saved face by saying you weren't in control. I totally understand why you did it and personally I think Regina is over reacting."

"Thanks, that means a lot. I could have gone about things better though, as soon as I realised we were both in it for real I should have come clean."

"So that if Regina was the one playing games, you'd be the one who gets hurt?"

"Isn't that the point of relationships. You take the risk, you let someone in and you both have to trust that the other won't hurt you?"

"Maybe, but you didn't lie. You may have withheld information but it isn't the same. When you told her how you felt that wasn't a lie."

"How does she know that, how can she know what she is and isn't supposed to believe?"

"She should trust you. Emma I don't care what you say after everything she's done, her behaving like this is an overreaction and it isn't fair."

"Maybe but I still know I've hurt her and that kills me."

"And if she was hurting as much as you, she would be trying to work through this instead of ignoring you and making you suffer."

"I deserve to suffer."

"No you don't, you don't deserve any of this. You should be with someone who appreciates how incredible you are."

Ruby moves her hand to the side of my face and I allow myself to enjoy the tenderness she shows me. I don't bother looking over at the cave men who were causing us problems before because something about the way Ruby is touching me and looking at me makes me think this show of affection is for no one else's benefit but ours.

It feels nice to have someone be kind to me. I feel like the last 24hrs I've been walking round with a 'kick me' sign on my back and everyone has taken a turn. I really am lucky to have a friend like Ruby.

We continue talking for a while. I'm being overly critical of my behaviour and Ruby is doing her best to defend me.

After another round of drinks the angst ridden brooding has been replaced by drunken silliness and we both agree its time to leave. We finish the last of our drinks, even though we have both had more than enough, collect our belonging and head for the door.

I had been so busy drowning my sorrows that I had forgotten all about the Neanderthals seated by the door. The excessive amount of alcohol we have consumed causes us to be bumping into each other as we walked and that seemed more than enough to get more unwanted attention from the intoxicated cretins. We do our best to just leave quietly, my mood may have improved but only slightly. I was still devastated, broken and drunk. This was not a good combination and would only be made worse if the morons decided to keep harassing us. We were almost clear, the door was closing, but they just couldn't leave it, they wouldn't let it go.

"Fucking dykes!" I hear one of them say, earning him congratulatory high fives from his friends.

I feel Ruby grab my arm, her eyes are wide and pleading.

"Please Emma, just leave it." I know I should have left it. Part of me wanted to, to avoid lowering myself to their level. But the offensive comments combined with the booze and the heartbreak made my primitive brain override my logic. I turn us both round so we're facing them, my hand now tightly wrapped round Ruby's hip.

"Well we're not fucking at the moment but its still early so fingers crossed hey fellas."

I pull Ruby as close to my side as I can, my fingers now dangerously close to the front of her sprayed on cut off's. I feel a sliver of exposed skin under my hand and the temptation is to much to ignore. I gently move my fingers over the small piece of pale flesh available and let my finger tips sweep across the waist band, her ribs rise as she gasps and I cant help but let my fingers drop an inch into her shorts. I honestly don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. Of course I still love Regina, but she was giving me nothing, not even a chance to explain. Right now Ruby's tight flawless skin was heating up under my touch and heavily mascaraed lashes were fluttering round dilating pupils. I don't know why I did it, I could blame the booze, say it was all for show. But the truth was I wanted that kiss, I wanted to feel wanted. I closed my eyes, held Ruby tight and let myself melt into the kiss. It was so soft and sweet that I just let myself enjoy it. The slack jawed jocks and a car illuminating us with it's headlights weren't enough to distract us.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N – This may not be the best Chapter and might be full of mistakes but I was desperate to update. Thanks to all still reading. Done for fun not profit. **

Chapter 9

My knuckles turned white as my grip on the steering wheel tightened. My headlights had bathed them in their own personal spotlight and seemed to make the rest of the world fade to black. I had been out driving, in an attempt to clear my head. Mine and Emma's fight had been weighing heavily on my mind and I just needed to get out of the house. I had at first thought I had been unreasonable, throwing her out of the house before she even had chance to explain. But after thinking it though I realised I had nothing to apologise for. As a former Evil Queen I found it hard reining in my temper and although my reaction may not have been ideal it was certainly better then other potential reactions.

As I swerved the car to a halt all I can think of is why. Why was she doing this? We had one argument and she does this. I had been on my knees for God's sake (and believe me such a submissive position was not easy for me) and that's the moment she decides to tell me that Gold is involved. And I knew that twisted imp being involved in any way could not lead to anything good! From the first moment our relationship altered I could feel her pulling back. I had stupidly put it down to her troubled past causing trust issues. How wrong I had been, I felt like such a fool.

The allure of Miss Lucas wasn't a complete mystery to me. Its fair to say she's attractive in obvious and slutty way. But we had one fight, and in less then 48 hrs she has her hand half way down Ruby's shorts.

As I tried to rationalise things I could just feel myself becoming more and more angry. I know I should have driven away and calmed down but I just couldn't. I could feel rage coursing through my veins and I knew what I had to do.

I get out of my car and slam the door shut, I hear the glass in my vintage Merc smash but I'm to focused on the task in hand to even turn my head. It would have been nice if the sound of tyres screeching or glass breaking had distracted them but no, they were still tangled round each other surrounding by a pack of drooling men.

I grab a fist full of brunette hair, tinged with cheap red highlights and pull as hard as I can. Hating myself for being impressed at the condition her hair is in. A large clump comes away in my hand and I smirk as I assume they are extensions, it isn't until I see the blood and small fragments of skin still attached that I realise her hair is real, I just pulled hard enough to rip it from her scalp. Ruby's hands immediately go her head, trying to stem the bleeding and ease the pain. All this happening and so quickly meant no one had spoken yet, so I took my chance to have the floor. I grabbed Ruby by the throat and pinned her against the wall of the bar. She was to busy clutching her head to stop me and even if she wasn't I don't think she would have dared push me any further. My fingers closed tighter around Ruby's throat and I felt my eyes glaze over from fury.

"If you ever touch her again, I will wait until wolf time, skin you alive and wear you as a coat. Do you understand me?"

Her coughing and spluttering while desperately clutching her seeping skull was all the confirmation I needed that she did understand. And now to deal with Emma. I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want her to to be able to look in my eyes, see passed the rage and see that I still loved her. I knew her dimpled chin quivering as she held back tears and her gorgeous green eyes filling with moisture would be enough to make me crack. She had to suffer a little for what she had done. I couldn't just let her come running into my arms, apologising and that be enough. I knew if I turned and looked at her I'd be done for. I walked back to the car, finally surveying the damage and cursing under my breath. I hear Emma call me, begging me not to go, pleading and apologising profusely.

"I'll deal with you later." Is all I call back. I don't know if I meant it to sound like a threat, but it could have been read that way. I get back in my car, carefully avoiding shards of glass and start the engine. I take one last look back and immediately wish I hadn't. I see Emma rush towards Ruby, her hand on her back the other inspecting the damage I had done. There was nothing remotely sexual about their interaction, but the tenderness alone was enough to start a flow of tears. I don't know why, what had I expected? That Emma would have just walked away leaving someone bleeding in the street? If she had have done she wouldn't have been the woman I fell in love with.

I somehow managed to make my way home. I practically crawl upstairs and get into bed praying that exhaustion takes over before the pain becomes truly unbearable. It doesn't happen. I'm awake all night staring at the ceiling and seeing nothing but the woman I love kissing someone else. I reply everything over and over in my mind and the pain only seems to intensify each time. I can feel my heart being torn in two. Right now I hate her so much I can hardly stand it, but I also still love her. In a very true and real way that I didn't even think was possible. Every inch of me ached, I finally admitted to myself that the only thing that would make me feel better is to be in Emma's arms. The realisation brought on more tears and more pain.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N – Again probably not one of my best, but we needed everyone to know about Gold being behind this. Next chapter will deal with Gold being confronted and Emma facing Regina! Thanks for reading. Done for fun not profit. **

Chapter 10 

I skulked home to find Mary Margaret making hot chocolate. I should have been concerned as to what she was doing up at this hour but I really didn't care. I was to concerned with the fact that I had flushed my entire life down the pan to care about what was bothering her. She looked over to me and I knew I must look as pathetic and dejected as I felt. I was waiting for her to start, with questions and advice and whatever other pearls of wisdom we felt entitled to dish out but she stayed silent. She simply put down her cup walked over to me and enveloped me in a huge motherly hug. It may have been twenty odd years too late but in that moment I was happy to be held like a babe in arms, being gently rocked and cooed to as I sobbed uncontrollably in her arms.

When the sobs had eased enough for me to speak I told her everything. I told her about Gold, about Ruby, about how I really felt about Regina, everything. I was expecting some smug satisfied look of victory but all I could see in her expression was heartbreak at seeing me so broken. I sent Mary Margaret to bed shortly after, I already felt bad that she had missed so much sleep because of me. She asked if I was sure and I said I was and that I just wanted to be alone. That part was a lie, I didn't want to be alone I wanted to be with Regina. I thought about how depressed I was, sitting alone, eyes raw from crying. I knew Regina was ten minutes away in the exact same state. It would have been ironic had it not been so fucking sad.

I didn't sleep all that night. I just laid on the sofa replaying every stupid mistake I had made since meeting her, listing them all took me till morning.

Mary Margaret didn't ask how I was when she came down that morning, I guess she knew it was a stupid question. I just got a sympathetic smile and a large mug of coffee. I move off the sofa and head for the bathroom.

"Hey, where do you think your going?" Mary Margaret asks.

"To get ready for work."

"Nice try, but your not going anywhere."

"And why is that?"

"Emma your heartbroken and in no fit state to go to work. Besides David is already there covering so you don't have to worry."

"So what am I meant to do? Sit round here feeling sorry for myself?"

"If that's what you want to do yes, or..."

"Or...?"

"You could go and see Regina."

"What?!"

"It was just a suggestion"

"Not one of your better ones."

"Look, I've got to get to work. But think about it, it seems to me the very least she deserves is an apology."

And with that she left, leaving me to consider her suggestion. At first I thought she was crazy, but deep down I knew she was right. I had behaved in an appalling way and Regina did deserve for me to face her and apologise in person.

Facing Regina was something I knew I needed to do but it didn't mean I was looking forward to it or even knew where to begin.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

Through the window of my classroom I see Regina drop Henry off, oversized shades covering her no doubt bloodshot eyes. I needed to speak to Henry. He was only a child but he seemed to be the authority on all things mystical. I needed to know what he knew.

"Henry, can I talk to you for a minute please?"

"Sure Mary Margaret, what's up?"

"Its about your mom, well your biological mom and well your adoptive mom and well I guess it's about both your 'mom's'."

"I knew something was wrong but no one tells me anything. What's going on?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure, but I do know Mr. Gold is involved, but I'm not sure how or why."

"However he's involved it can't be anything good."

"I know and that's the worrying bit."

"OK so what do we do now?"

"I think it's time for Operation Scorpion, we need to find out all we can about Gold's involvement and what he stands to gain."

"OK I'm on it."

The school bell rings and Henry and I part ways. I feel bad dragging Henry into this but I had a feeling this was going deeper then any of us realised.

I had let my own feelings about Regina cloud my judgement. Feelings that stem from years of her never forgiving me for a mistake I made as a child. If she and Emma were meant to b together who was I to stand in the way? If however this is all to do with Gold then I was right all along, this needs to be stopped. I had always thought Regina was the one playing games but it looks like it could be Emma. As soon as the bell sounded to signal the end of the school day I would pay Gold a visit.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N- Sorry for the long wait on updates but as compensation you get three chapters at once! None of which have been proof read as i was eager to get them posted. Also I know Mary Margaret is supposed to be confronting Gold but i felt there were bigger issues that needed addressing first. Hope your all still reading and enjoying, despite long waits on update, this is turning into a longer fic then intended. Done for fun not profi**

Chapter 11

I knock lightly on the door, secretly hoping the knock is quiet enough that she doesn't hear and I can scurry away and carry on avoiding her. It seems she does hear it because the door is opened almost immediately. Before I can brace myself, explain myself or even make eye contact she slaps me so hard round the face that she nearly knocks my head clean of my shoulders.

"You bastard!"

"OK, I deserved that." I say as I roll my jaw to check its still attached.

"I don't need your permission!"

"I know you don't, that's not what I meant. Look Regina I have a hell of a lot of explaining to do and even more apologising, so can I come in please."

I can see she's conflicted. The pure anger is still clearly visible in her eyes but I know she needs to know the reason why and so when she moves slightly to the side I enter the house before she can change her mind.

"I was expecting you earlier."

"I wasn't sure if you would speak to me. I took my time showering and getting ready. I waited till I knew Henry would have left for school."

"Well I'm glad you showered, I hate the smell of wet dog."

I have never felt so scared in my life. I'm not scared of her temper, although I probably should be. I'm scared that this is always how she's going to look at me, with utter contempt and disgust. I'm also scared that there is no coming back from this, that I've lost her for good.

"Regina I'm so so sorry. It was a stupid mistake, it didn't mean anything and if I could take it back I would. I never meant for you to get hurt."

"You mean you never meant for me to find out. You're only sorry you got caught."

"No, I'm sorry I betrayed you and that you saw it because if I saw you kissing someone else god that would kill me!" I look at her and can read the 'think before you speak' expression on her face.

"Regina I know how badly I've fucked up, believe me I get it."

"Then explain it to me, because I have no idea what the hell you were thinking."

"I felt beat up, everywhere I turned someone was waiting to give me a hard time. Ruby was nice to me, she paid me a few compliments, made me feel like I wasn't a complete asshole and I was weak enough and drunk enough to allow it to turn my head."

"Oh so now we get to it, allow me. 'I was drunk', 'she kissed me', 'she took advantage'. Did I miss anything?"

"I'm not putting all the blame on her. I'm a grown woman. I saw this escalating all night and I should have walked away." I see Regina's eyes narrow and I know what she is going to ask.

"Would you have stopped?"

"Of course I would!"

"Don't you dare be offended that I asked that."

"I'm sorry, you had every right to ask that, not that you need my permission. But yes even if you hadn't scalped her in the middle of the street, I would have stopped."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want her, I never wanted her, all I ever wanted was you."

"That's certainly not the message I've been recieving."

I move towards her and put my arms round her to my surprise she allows it, but not for long. She pushes me back, she's shaking her head and I know she hates herself for momentarily allowing herself to enjoy the comfort my arms offered.

"No, you can't just do that. You can't act like a complete asshole, break my heart and waltz back into my life like nothing happened. I won't allow it."

"Regina I'm sorry, that's not what I was trying to do. I just wanted to try and make this better and if you're feeling anything like I am being in each other arms is the only thing that will ease the pain."

"You really are the most unbearably arrogant asshole."

"And your what? An angel? If that's what you think I hate to tell you this but your halo is slipping."

"How dare you?"

"How dare you?! One minute I'm living my life in Boston. A sad, lonely life but my life never the less. The next minute my entire world is turned upside down. And no one gives a shit about how I feel about it all."

"I think you'll find I did. I was here for you, ready to listen when you were ready to talk. You struggling to comprehend something that is quite frankly incomprehensible isn't the problem. You running off to get drunk and make out with Ruby, instead of talking to me, _that's_ the problem."

"I've said sorry for that, and I mean it. I'm serious Regina, I am sorry."

"I need you to leave. I'm serious to Emma, I just can't be around you right now. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just let me stay. Your right I was a coward. I should have come to you and told you everything I felt. I guess running is still my default setting. But I'm ready to talk now, please I want to make this right. I need to fix this."

"I'm not sure you can."

"Don't say that, please, don't. We can get through this I know we can."

"Emma just go. I'll talk to you when _I'm _ready and in the mean time try to keep your hand to yourself."

It was her parting shot and a low blow, one that was well deserved. How is it that even when I'm trying to apologise I still come across as a complete dick? This isn't the end. I can't let this be the end. I will win back the woman I love, or die trying.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

When I arrive home I find Mary Margaret and Henry huddled round the kitchen table. Surrounded by books and papers and half empty mugs of hot chocolate, left to go cold.

"You guys look busy, what you up to?"

Mary Margaret looks over Henry's head to meet my eyes. She has a hopeful, questioning expression on her face, but when I shake my head it softens into one of sympathy.

"Good your here. We have so much we need to tell you." Henry says in his typical upbeat tone.

"Is that so? Well how about I make a fresh batch and you can get me all caught up." I say as I collect them mugs cluttering the table.

Henry's wide eyed innocence and enthusiasm is infectious and I'm grateful that he's here. He is pulling me out of a pit of despair without even realising.

Once the mugs are refilled with piping hot chocolate, topped with cream and cinnamon we all take a seat back at the table. If they can make any sense of these books and pages they are better people than me. To me it looks like an explosion in a library.

"So, what is all this." I say as I start moving papers around in an attempt to find something I understand.

"Answers." Henry says in a tone that implies its obvious.

"Answers to what."

"Everything." Mary Margaret offers and I'm beginning to lose patience at my own lack of understanding and their lack of helpfulness.

"I don't understand. What answers? And more to the point, what questions?"

"All of them. Why Gold is involved. What he _thinks _he stands to gain. Why that won't happen. Even what will become of you and Regina."

"Are these books or tarot cards?" Mary Margaret shoots me a look and I feel bad for doubting the validity of her information.

"I don't mean any disrespect, but do you seriously expect me to believe everything is mapped out like that?"

"See for yourself."

I make my way through all the information in front of me and the more I read the more the pieces fit together. It's so obvious and so simple no wonder a child was able to figure it out.

David comes home to find all of us engrossed in our project. Mary Margaret steals him away for a brief kiss to show he was missed and to fill him in on recent developments. The interaction between them is sickening to watch. However thanks to newly acquired information I have fresh hope that one day, not to long from now, my true love will be welcoming me home like that.

"Hey Henry, how do you feel about some guy time? Give us chance to improve on your sword fighting?"

Henry looks fit to burst at David's suggestion but he still looks to me for permission.

"It's fine by me kid."

"Great, I'll go get my shoes. Thanks Emma."

I give him a smile as I watch him leave, knowing full well he is in safe hands and probably happier then I've ever seen him.

"So, how did it go?"

"Not well."

"Did you apologise?"

"Of course!"

"Did you mean it?"

I just give her a look in response to that, how could she even ask that.

"Well whatever was said you have to be relived it all ends well?"

"Why? Because some ancient books say so? You didn't see her. She doesn't want to know."

"She said that?"

"Not in so many words but that was the general message I got."

"Didn't she listen to you at all?"

"That may have been the problem."

"What did you say?" Mary Margaret didn't even attempt to hide the accusatory tone, her hand on her hip just emphasised she knew I would have messed up and made matters worse.

"I may have said that all this was a lot for me to deal with and no one really seemed to realise that."

"I realised that! I tried to support you, you're just to damn difficult. This isn't easy for me to say but it seemed like Regina tried to."

"I know OK, I know, I was just feeling sorry for myself. I did something terrible and instead of being a grown up and taking responsibility I lashed out. Attack being the best form of defence. Anyway its OK right, cos all this stuff says we live happily ever after, right?"

"Well yes, but there is no mention of you acting like a complete idiot so I don't know how much that will change things."

"Thanks for the support."

"You really feel you deserve support? I wasn't exactly picking venues for your civil partnership ceremony, but even I'm appalled at your behaviour. Doing what you did was bad enough, but to turn it around like your the victim is really low."

"OK I get it. I've said sorry and of course I meant it and now I'm willing to do whatever I need to to win her back."

"It isn't going to be easy."

"Nothing worth having ever is."

"So what's the plan?"

"Well the information in these books is a start but its not enough. _I_ made the mistake it's up to _me _to fix it. I have to make her fall in love with me again."

This all sounded fine in theory, but the reality was a different matter entirely. Regina is an incredible woman, what she saw in me, beyond a one nighter with a bit of rough, was completely beyond me. But I would do whatever I needed to win her back. Not because of books claiming it's meant to be. Not even out of guilt. But because I love her and I needed her back in my life for good.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13

I knew I was pushing my luck by turning up at her house. Using the fact that Henry needed to be brought home was also a bit tacky but I just needed to see her.

I stand on the step and smooth down the front of my shirt, although I think we both have bigger concerns then the creases in my clothes. She opens the door and I know the warm, welcoming smile is only for Henry and still taking all her energy to muster.

"Hey mom." He seems genuinely happy to be home with her. And I realise I'm jealous of my son. I would give anything to be welcomed back in.

"Henry it's so good to see you." her eyes are filling with emotion and my jealousy increases as Regina wraps him in huge cuddle. I realise how pathetic I'm being but I can't help it.

"Did you have a good time with Mary Margaret and David?"

"Yeah it was fun, but I missed you." I knew he meant it. But also knew he had no idea just how much it meant to Regina to hear it.

"Thanks for walking me home Emma, you gonna stay for a coffee."

I look down at the floor and scuff the toe of my boot on the edge of the step.

"I have some stuff I should probably be doing and I'm sure you and your mom have loads of catching up to do."

I see Henry look up at Regina, eyes begging for her to intervene.

"I'm sure we could both find the time for one cup. Miss Swan?"

"Yeah that would be great thank you." I answer as quickly as I could in my shocked state.

"So Henry tell me all you've been up to, I want to know everything." Regina's tone wasn't suspicious and accusatory like it normally was but full instead of a genuine interest in what Henry had been doing to pass the time.

"Can I tell you all about it later? I kinda want to have a bath first."

"Of course you can and when your done I'll fix dinner how does that sound?"

"Great, I'm starving!"

And with that Henry was bounding up the stairs two at a time leaving me and Regina looking at his quickly disappearing frame. When we finally turned to face each other we could tell we were both silently cursing Henry for setting us up and then leaving us to it.

"I should go." I didn't want to, but I thought it was what she wanted to hear. She actually seemed a little disappointed that I had said it.

"Unless the offer of coffee still stands?" She doesn't speak but there is a soft relieved looking smile on her face as she makes her way to the kitchen, and I follow.

I watch as she reaches up for coffee mugs and my immediate thought goes back to the night everything changed. My second thought is that she should put thing on lower shelves. If however she did I wouldn't be able to do what I was about to.

I move in behind her and recreate the scene from that first night. All of a sudden I feel her spin in my arms I prepare myself for a rage induced reaction that doesn't come. She kisses me, and not a little kiss but a full on tongue sliding against mine moaning into my mouth kiss. I can't close my eyes in case it shatters the illusion, in case this isn't real. When she pushes me away and brings her fingers to her mouth, I know it was real and I know it was regretted.

"That shouldn't have happened."

"I'm sorry I wasn't trying to..."

"I know, I wanted it, I want you and I hate myself for it." Two positives that offer and glimmer of hope and one negative that bring me back to reality with a crash.

I apologise again, the hurt causing the words to stick in my throat. I feel like she is about to stop me but right now I need to leave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've already made a start on dinner when Henry returns from his bath, strange that I don't recall hearing the water run and Henry looks no cleaner now then he did before. I smile to myself as I realise it was all a ruse to get me and Emma talking. Nature or nurture? This time, nurture wins.

"Mom...?" Henry asked in a drawn out tone full of trepidation.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"What did Emma do?" It was the question I dreaded him asking.

"She make a mistake and hurt me."

"Is she sorry?"

"She says she is and I have no reason to think she's lying."

"So if she's sorry and you believe her can't you just forgive her." What I wouldn't give to be a child right now and see the world as simply as they do.

"I'm afraid it isn't that easy."

"Why not? Don't you love her any more?" Nothing prepares a parent for having to answer questions like this. Children see things so black and white, I decide honestly is probably the best policy.

"Oh Henry, I love her with all my heart. That why it hurts so much." I feel I may have just crossed a boundary as his little face show an expression of sympathy.

"Do you still want to be with her?"

"Part of me does, yes, I miss her so much. But I don't know if I can forgive her or trust that she won't hurt me again. It's times like this I wish I had a crystal ball, something to give me answers."

"What if I told you I had something better then a crystal ball?" I raise a questioning eyebrow as Henry starts to pull old books from his backpack. I don't know what he's up to but my curiosity and desperation to find resolution brings me to his side. Dinner is soon forgotten about as my ten year old son unravels decade old mysteries that bring everything into perfect clarity.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N – Sorry again for long wait on updates, really haven't been in the mood to write anything. Hope people are still reading and enjoying, despite how long I make you wait for chapters. For anyone who's interested I have another story in progress. Couples Retreat. SQ/Rizzles crossover! If anyone wants to check it out. Thanks x **

Chapter 15

I sit and read through the remaining information knowing full well Henry has smuggled a load out to show Regina. I know I should be mad or at least concerned about his involvement in all this but right now I'm just grateful for help. Am a truly a believer in all this or have I just been going with the flow? Sad, lonely bail-bonds person one minute, saviour the next, its a lot to take in. Guess its true what they say about being careful what you wish for.

"Made sense of it all yet?" Mary Margaret asks as she sits down next to me.

"I'm getting there, its all a little..."

"Full on?"

"Yeah" I say as a run my hands over my face and through my hair.

She rubs my back and with each soothing movement the tension between us is disappearing. I know she only had my best interest at heart but I suppose coming from different worlds gives us very different perspectives on things. I saw her overprotective concern as criticism and a lack of support and she saw my desire to make my own decisions as naïve stubbornness.

"I get that me and Regina are meant to be together, it would just be nice to think its because we actually love each other not because the fate of the free world depends on it."

"I know, but sometimes there's more to it then that, but just because the fate of the free world depends on it doesn't mean that between the two of you it isn't just about love."

"It's all fake! Don't you get that? All of it. Me and Regina its all been pre planned and manipulated in some twisted power struggle between her mother and Rumple – fucking – stiltskin!"

"You really believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe any more."

"When did you know?" Mary Margaret asks with a doe eyed expression.

"What?"

"That you loved her, when was the exact moment you realised?"

"I don't know, I guess it just sort of crept up on me?" Mary Margaret's sceptical look told me she didn't believe that was the case. I replay every moment we've shared together in an attempt to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I loved her.

I start to smile as I remember our very first meeting. Regina running to Henry, tears in her eyes, voice hoarse with emotion. I wanted to throw my arms round her then just to offer some comfort. It wasn't till she offered me a glass of the best apple cider I've ever tasted that it really struck me just how incredibly stunning she actually was. I asked if she had anything stronger and my eyes drank her in. Hypnotically dark eyes, cheek bones that could cut diamond, the sexiest scar I've ever seen etched on the top of luscious lips, all of that combined with a body built for sin. It may not have been love at first sight but it was definitely something. Even during an emotional and

upsetting time, I still wanted her.

"Well?" Mary Margaret's eagerness to know more breaks my daydream.

"I knew I wanted her the second I saw her."

"That's not what I asked."

"It's all I've got. I don't know when I first knew."

"Well when was the first time you told her?"

I open my mouth to answer and a realisation hits me. I haven't told her! How could I not have told her? Mary Margaret reads my mind.

"You haven't told her?!"

"No...yes, well technically no, but she knows how I feel."

"How?"

"Trust me, she knows." I look Mary Margaret square in the eyes and watch her fidget uncomfortably as what I implied finally dawns on her.

"Well that's a little..."

"Too much information?"

She nods her head and takes a drink from her mug to avoid meeting my eyes.

"Look that may have been an over share but what I meant was, where I come from actions speak louder than words."

"Actions like you lying and cheating and deceiving her?" The question was delivered in that self righteous tone I was beginning to despise, mainly because it usually meant she was right and I had acted like a prick.

"Emma I'm sorry if you feel I'm being harsh but...tough."

"Seriously."

"Yes, I am not Regina's biggest fan and my loyalty of course lies with you but I won't defend you when it's clear your in the wrong."

"So much for unconditional motherly love."

"Sometimes loving someone means having to deal the heavy blows and tell them something they don't want to hear. I'm not just going to sit here and support you when it's you who has messed up."

"This is a two way street you know? Regina is exactly a saint and hardly made my life easy when I first arrived." Mary Margaret starts smiling and shaking her head slightly and I feel my brow furrow as I try to find the amusement in our interaction.

"You can't have it all ways Emma."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you can't defend her tirelessly when your trying to convince us she's changing and then drag up her past as a way of excusing your own bad behaviour."

My head drops as I realise that is exactly what I have been doing. Blaming anyone or anything as long as it meant I didn't have to take responsibility for my actions.

I take my jacket of the back of the chair and leave the apartment. Mary Margaret must realise I need to think or walk or do something because she simply watches me leave without question or interference.

I walk for what seems like hours, even though I know it hasn't been that long and its just my racing mind playing tricks. I stop off at Granny's for a coffee to go, checking it is actually Granny serving on. Being served by Ruby would not be good right now and it's just my luck that upon leaving I'd bump into Regina. I grab a handful of napkins and leave, checking that the street is clear and Regina isn't in sight.

I sit down on a weathered bench near the docks, the cool breeze coming off the water seems to help clear my mind. I take a pen out of my pocket and carefully start to make notes on the napkins. Notes to help me get my head around things, to try and understand. I take a sip of the rapidly cooling coffee and look at the notes, a series of lines and names. It looks less like a family tree and more like a 'Springer' special. Cora, Rumple, Me, Regina, Henry, Daniel we're all involved in some way, to some extent, we're all connected.

I'm distracted from my napkins by the sounds of laughter and wood crashing together. I look up to see David and Henry jumping off benches and running around practising sword fighting. They both looked so happy and carefree and for a moment I let my mind wander to what an upbringing in the Enchanted Forest would have been like. Obviously minus the corsets, the red dress I wore last birthday was about as much as my tolerance for pain would allow.

Just as the sword wielding heroes see me and give waves with their free hand and quick smiles before focusing back on the destruction of their opponent I feel my cell vibrate. I pull the device out of my pocket and expect to see a message from Mary Margaret, but the message isn't from her.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N- Sorry for anyone who already read and reviewed this chapter, I posted it accidentally before it was ready, as I'm sure most of you realised. I hope you all enjoy it now it's finished. **

Chapter 16

_Dinner at 6, don't be late x _

There was still something about Regina's bossy tone, even in a text, that made my pulse race. But right now I was just happy to get the invite. We had both seen a lot of information and like with all new knowledge it was up to us what we did with it.

At six o'clock on the dot Regina opened the door to me with a slightly surprised expression on her face.

"You're on time."

"I've been ready ages."

"Hungry?"

"Excited"

"I offered dinner, nothing else."

"I don't mean excited like that! That's not to say that I'm not...cos I am, you know excited like that...but... what I mean is...what we've found out is pretty exciting right?"

"I suppose it could be classed as that yes."

I really wish she wouldn't do that, that small smug smile she does when she knows she's trying me in knots.

"So" I attempt to make a start.

"So" She replies, ending the start.

I roll my eyes. Regina has a rip heart out now think later policy for dealing with problems and I have an emotional maturity surpassed by my ten year old son. This is not going to be easy.

"Dinner is almost ready, I hope your hungry."

"Starving." I reply as she turns and walks to the kitchen. The area of her body I'm looking at whilst responding causes me to smile at the innuendo.

I walk into the dining room and see only two places set.

"Henry not joining us?"

"He's at a friends having a sleep over, he's already more involved than necessary." I nod my head in agreement. Henry is great at piecing it all together but it still isn't fair to put that much burden on a kid.

My stomach growls as the smells of dinner reaches me, being a fantastic cook, just one more thing on a list of many that makes me love her. She hands me a glass of wine, our finger tips brush and I can see in her eyes everything she is desperately trying not to say. She must feel herself softening.

"Don't misunderstand, you're not forgiven."

"I know."

"We just need to talk."

"I know."

We sit down and make a start on dinner. The food is delicious and the same could be said about the company. The meal wasn't eaten in complete silence we filled the time with talk of Henry and how he was getting on in school and in general. Hearing her speak about him with such unashamed affection was melting my heart. It suddenly occurred to me that this may just be the thing about me she fell in love with. My love for her may have been enough, the time I give her to speak without any fear of judgement or ridicule. The fact that I respect her and support her and encourage her to be herself. The meal came to an end just as all conversation about Henry dried up and it was finally time to talk about, well everything.

I don't know if it was the wine increasing my bravery or just the fact I was dying to have this resolved but from somewhere I found the strength to make the first move.

"Was all this really pre planned?"

"Is that really what you think?"

"I don't know." I look up at her expectantly. Why I assumed she would have the answers I don't know.

"Honestly, neither do I. I've seen a lot of this information and I don't know if its true or not."

"How can it not be true?" I asked genuinely surprised that she said that.

"Well do we even know who wrote these books? It could all be more manipulation."

"So you don't believe this is real then?"

She takes a long drink of her wine and I know she's stalling for time.

"What I felt for you was real."

"_Was._"

She just shrugs in response leaving me none the wiser if that is past tense or not.

"You're the one who lied. Gold gave you a potion to feel something for me that clearly wasn't already there."

"It was there."

"Then why did you need Gold?"

"I didn't, he needed me. I owed him a favour for letting Ashley keep her baby. This was the _favour_ he asked for. He couldn't have sweetened the deal any more if he had dipped you in chocolate."

I see a little smile creep across her lips before she remembers herself and sets her expression to one of seriousness.

"What did he ask you to do?"

I shift uncomfortably, I really didn't want her to ask this. But she had every right to know.

"He gave me a potion, claimed it would create an attraction. Then all I had to do was make you feel the same."

"So you did need a potion?"

"No, I didn't. The potion he gave me was water."

The look on her face must mirror the one I had on mine when Gold told me.

"I don't understand."

"Neither did I but after all we have found out, it finally make sense."  
"I'm listening."  
"Gold wants us together because he feels our combined power will be something he can exploit for his own gain, right?"

"As far as I can make out, yes."

"What he doesn't realise is that Cora is also trying to get us together. That's why she..."

"Killed Daniel?" Regina said in a barely audible voice.

I simply nod slowly to confirm. I know its still incredibly hard for her to talk about.

"So my mother is also trying to use our magic for her own gain?"

"No one is sure about that yet, but judging by previous behaviour? Its probably a safe bet."

"So what now? We try and rebuild our relationship just to have it constantly compromised by other people?"

"Do you want to try and fix this?"

"Not for someone else' benefit, no."

"What about just our benefit?"

"Are you suggesting we just run away together and pretend none of this is happening?"

"Why not? People move away all the time to start new lives."

"Us living somewhere else will not change the fact that you're the Saviour or that I'm the Evil Queen. Believe me I have travelled enough realms to know your problems only follow you."

"Speaking of which, how come you didn't go back? When the curse was broken I assumed you would all go back."

"The curse isn't broken, not officially." Her response is so nonchalant it leaves me slack jawed.

"But I thought..."  
"I know and I was happy to let you think that. I had to kill my father, rip his heart right out just to enact the curse. Did you really think that realising you loved your own child and giving him a peck on the forehead would be enough to break it?"

"Well if it wasn't surely what we did...and you know what we felt had to count for something?"

"And what was that?"

"Well, you know...?"

"No, I don't, that's the whole point!"

"We had that night and it was so special and I thought you knew how I felt? If hearing the words is that important I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you till your sick of hearing me speak."

"I'm afraid it isn't that simple. You see where I come from romance and true love and all that goes with it are taken very seriously. You can't make love to me one minute, then have your hands down someone else's shorts the next. It doesn't work like that. I know you maintain it was a stupid, drunken mistake, but ask yourself honestly, if you feel for me what you claim to would you have been able to do it? The answer, I don't think you would."

"Me making a mistake doesn't prove anything other then I'm human."

"I think you're being naïve."

"I think you're being harsh."

"Then why is it you never told me? We made love, you cried in my arms, you were starting to open up about things in your past that had hurt you but you still didn't say it. Why not?"

"Cos I don't find it easy to say how I feel, but just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it."

I walk across to the window and stare out at nothing in particular. I wish the ground would open me up, that Jefferson's hat could transport me to another world where I don't have to deal with this. It's not that I don't want to face it its just that I hate myself for doing what I had. Hearing how my stupidity had made Regina doubt my feelings made me feel physically sick.

All of a sudden my chest felt tight, breathing was becoming an issue and I felt ready to faint. Regina must have seen I was struggling just with standing up and as I felt her arms wrap around me from behind I felt instantly better. I laid my head back into the crook of her neck and let the tears trickle out of the corners of my eyes till my vision clears. I didn't want to play the blame game or point score but I needed to start talking and now was as good a time as any.

"You didn't say it either."

"You didn't give me a chance."

"Didn't give you a chance or didn't give you a reason?"

Her silence was all the answer I needed. She gently nuzzled against me using her her face to push the hair away from my neck so she could place a kiss there. I wanted it to feel warm and forgiving but it felt final. Especially since she moved away almost the second she did it.

"Regina I don't know what you want me to say."

"How about we start as with the truth?"

"About this? I'm as much in the dark as you are."  
"Not the truth about this. The truth about us, about how you really feel."

"All I know is I want to be with you. I don't care if we are here or the Enchanted Forest or where the hell we are, as long as we're together. Regina I l..."

I was going to tell her, say those three little words I knew she had every right to hear. The words I wanted to say. But she stopped me. Her fingertips brushed my lips as she shushed me.

"Don't say it Emma. Not now, not when I had to ask. Say it another time, when you don't even realise you're going to say it. Say it when the words just fall from you."

"So it is still something you want to hear from me?"

"Yes it is. Who knows I may even say it back."

I smile, she smiles, I swear my heart even smiles. I know things are a long way off right but she still wants me to say it. She is willing to give me another chance.

Dinner and dessert was over long ago, it was only wine left at the table. I stretched in the chair and rubbed at the muscle connecting my neck to my shoulder, the dining room chairs were not designed to be sat in for long periods of time. I had suffered enough sleepless nights that it was only a matter of time before my body packed up. I wanted to ask if we could move to the sitting room but didn't want to appear presumptuous.

"Are you OK?" Regina asked and with every word she spoke to me there was less and less hurt in her voice.

"Yeah fine, my backs just a little tight is all."

She didn't respond verbally, she just moved behind me, her hands hovering millimetres from my aching muscles as she decides whether she should do what she's about to.

She finally gives in and gently places her hands on me. I groan as she makes contact, the contact isn't enough to ease my pain yet but it still feels damn good. Her fingertips brush my collarbone as her thumbs start kneading the muscles that are tied in knots.

"How does that feel?"

I give a low guttural growl and know its all the answer she needs. I can feel her hands trying to move lower, trying to manoeuvre around the clothes I'm wearing and the chair I'm sitting on. She gives a frustrated sigh.

"I'm finding this difficult to do, your clothes are in the way."

"Well that's easily solved." I regretted it the moment I said it, it was too much too soon.

I'm up out my chair in a heartbeat, apologises already coming thick and fast. Regina silences me again, but this time with a kiss so hot it sears my soul. She pushes me against the table and rips through the buttons holding my shirt together.

"Upstairs. Now." I know I should have stopped this. It was too soon we both had more we needed to say. At least I felt I did. I had more apologises to make, more making up for mistakes and more trust to win back. I couldn't stop it, in all honesty I don't really think I tried all that hard but even if I did every inch of my body screaming for her was bound to win out.

We got in the bedroom and she ordered me to lay on my front in the middle of the bed. Strange how my ceased up back had suddenly escaped my attention.

"Lets see if we can't work out some of your kinks."

She was back. That was the Regina I knew, I still had no idea how can she say things laced in innuendo and still sound classy when anyone else would sound cheap.

I turned around a saw the look on her face, the look in her eyes. I'm almost sure that I missed both those things as much as I missed what they usually eluded to. Her expression told me to strip, so I did. Showing all my usually desperate speed while Regina mirrored my actions with much more grace and finesse. As soon as I was naked I took my place back on the middle of the bed, face down. I felt Regina settle herself, her thighs over my hips and as she lowered herself the feel of her straddling me naked is enough to take my breath. It wasn't until she spoke that I remember to breathe again.

"I need something out the top drawer, would you mind?"

I would have been only to pleased to have Regina smother me in an attempt to retrieve the desired object, but at the same time had no problem doing as she asked. It was easier for me to reach given our positioning. I smiled to myself as I thought about what some people keep in the top draw of the bedside cabinet. Regina of course would not have these items, she probably just needs oil to help with my back rub. I don't know why but for some reason I doubted I would have to search through a draw full of nipple clamps before I found it. I opened the draw and reached inside, I had to feel my way because seeing inside the draw would mean bucking Regina and that wasn't going happen, not yet anyway. After a moment or two of blind rummaging my hand connected with something that was very easily identifiable, even without the use of sight. I whipped my neck round as far as it would go to look at Regina, who just looked at me with white hot passion flickering behind her eyes. She licked her lips, bit her bottom lip and nodded. I reached back into the drawer and pulled out the object that could help us come together, in every sense.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Regina lifted herself just enough for me to roll my hips and settle on my back. I was looking at the leather harness and realistic looking phallus in my hand, trying to look less like a deer in headlights and more like an experienced pro. Regina cleared her throat and looked at me, a deep arch already in her brow.

"What makes you think you'll be the one wearing it?"

"Well...I just thought...I mean...I guess I assumed."

Regina's sly smirk breaks into a rare open smile and I know she's teasing me, again. I sigh contentedly as I realise this is going to go exactly how I always imagined it would.

Regina moves completely free from me and helps attach the straps, I thought I would feel self conscious but I don't. Regina is soft and gentle and keeps giving me reassuring looks that help steady my nerves. What I can only assume is the usual strap – on related bullshit flashes through my mind momentarily. 'What if I hurt her, it isn't part of me so it must be hard to judge.' 'Why does she even want this? Aren't I enough? Does she really want a guy?' I slap myself mentally and focus on how amazing this is going to feel and how privileged I should feel over her trusting me enough and wanting me enough to let me do this. By the time all the straps are fasten and the phallus is standing erect Regina's expression has changed from one of gentle understanding to one of pure unadulterated lust.

She crawls back up the bed and lays by my side. Her hand is caressing my thigh, moving strategically past my rock hard cock to trace circles on my abs. The pleasure is maddening. It doesn't take long till my hips are rolling slightly, begging for more contact.

I wrap my arms around her and roll us over so I'm on top, the feel of my hard on touching her for the first time enough to make her gasp. I look in her eyes and even though I want this so bad I can barely stand it I have to make sure it's what she wants. I don't want her primal desires clouding her judgement, I don't want her to regret this.

"Regina are you sure this is what you want?"

"Would I have purchased it otherwise?"

That's the response she gives. Talk about enough to make you lose your hard on, that felt brutal enough to melt the plastic. She places two fingers under my chin and lifts my lowered head.

"What I want Emma is you. Don't go soft on me now." I can't help but smile. We both know she's being flippant, but we both understand why.

"I just wanted to make sure. I don't want you to regret this."

"Emma, as far as you and I are concerned there are many things I regret. The sex, isn't one of those things. I can't say I fully forgive you because I don't and I can't say that one day I'll forget all about this, because I might not. During the time we weren't speaking I realised that in punishing you I was also punishing myself. I may still be hurting but I hurt a lot more when you're not with me."

Hearing Regina say these words overwhelms me. How can she still care so much when I've hurt her so badly. I try not to let it ruin the mood, right now is not about me feeling sorry for myself its about me giving Regina what she needs, for once. I open my mouth, knowing three little words are desperate to escape but Regina forces them back down with a kiss.

The kiss is so slow and sensual to start with, the kind of kissing you do on a rainy Sunday when kissing is the perfect way to pass the time. I almost don't want it to escalate, part of me would be only to pleased to spend the rest of the night like this. But things do escalate, of their own accord, our natural sexual chemistry taking over.

The kiss is smouldering, the heat increasing with every brush of lips and tongues. Regina has her hands in my hair and already feels like she hanging on for dear life. Our bodies are grinding together, my temporary appendage sliding against her body and I know its driving her crazy. It's driving me crazy, the base is hitting my clit, the thought of where this is leading is to distracting to think about. But is too insanely hot to ignore.

Her hands have moved to my shoulders and all thoughts of healing massage are forgotten as nails start scratching at flesh. She wants me closer, needs me closer, needs me inside her.

"Baby you got what we need to help with this?" That poor attempt at the English language taking a herculean effort to speak.

"You won't need it." Regina breathes into my mouth. I'm about to protest, I'm pretty sure the use of lube is advisable no matter how sexually aroused someone is, but Regina grabs my wrist and moves my hand between our bodies. My digits slip near her entrance, a result of the copious amount of secretion practically pouring out of her. Maybe she right, maybe we don't need anything else.

I'm moaning out loud without shame or embarrassment, everything feels so fucking good, like an out of body experience. I try to stay engaged but I feel like I'm floating.

I move my hands to Regina's hips, as she lifts her legs to lock them round my waist. I want to hold off entering her, cos something tells me I'm gonna come fast. I was already close.

Just as I thought I couldn't be any more aroused, Regina ups the ante. She slides her hand between our bodies and grabs hold of my cock. It becomes immediately obvious that she is more used to male anatomy, the thought throws me at first but I soon regain my stride. Regina tugging hard at the prosthetic makes thoughts of any kind futile.

"Emma please, I need you." She says through heavy breathing. The base of the strap-on nudging my clit on every down stroke.

Regina is trying desperately to line up my shaft and her opening and I'm desperately trying to prevent it from happening. I want it, I want her, I just need to calm down first. I need to try and regain some composure before all she gets is two pumps and a grunt.

She knows I'm stalling and she can read my body well enough to know why, so when she runs her tongue up my throat and sinks her teeth in just below my jaw I know she know exactly what she's doing. My body's gentle trembling becomes violent convulsions and I know holding back soon won't be an option. Like always, it's like she reads my mind.

"Emma stop holding back."

"If I don't this will be over way too soon for my liking."

"Well we have all the time we need for you to make it up to me."

"We do?"

"Yes baby, we do." And with that someone got their swagger back!

I look in her eyes she looks in mine and I knew it was time. She had tolerated my childish immature games for long enough. If I came before I was even fully in, so what? I realised it was better to do that then keep trying to keep her at arms length with my stupid bullshit bravado.

My hand covers hers as we perfect the angle. I swallow hard and meet her eyes. I enter her slowly, our eyes locked the entire time. I still felt out of my depth and was wondering if I was doing OK, so I break eye contact to take a look down. I immediately wish I hadn't. The sight of Regina's glistening folds swallowing the thick head of my cock is enough to make to crumble. If it wasn't for Regina's strong thighs holding me I may have fallen to pieces.

I stay completely still, letting Regina get accustomed to my size. It isn't long till she has devoured it all, her body bowing as the head hits where it needs too. I feel empowered and yet feel so weak that continuing this seems impossible. Right now Regina has the wheel and I'm happy to let her drive. Her incredible body works wonders as she rolls against me. I take the deep scratches she's leaving on my ass as sign she's ready for me to stop lacking and do some of the hard work.

With all the strength I can gather I pull out slightly and then sink all the way back in, my head whipping back in pleasure. After the initial euphoric feeling lessened slightly, I set a steady rhythm. Slow and deep, my breath catching at the slight resistance I felt.

It may have been a 'traditional' position but it was far from being boring or lacking in intimacy. Our limbs were wrapped round each others, sweat was helping our bodies glide together. The air was filled with the sounds of sex and moans of indescribable pleasure. The unmistakable scent of arousal fell like a heavy fog around us.

As Regina dug fingertips and nails into any flesh she could reach, I knew she was close. Pulling out was becoming difficult as she gripped my like a vice. I kissed her neck, her lips, her chest, anywhere my desperate mouth could manage to get to. I got lost in the feeling of how good it all felt, having the woman I love screaming my name. She seemed insatiable, like too much would never be enough. I just prayed I was woman enough to handle the task.

I did love Regina. Maybe I hadn't all along, but now I did, I knew that for sure. Gold didn't matter, the book didn't matter, all that mattered was us. Through this act we were starting again, cleansing ourselves of past sins and emerging stronger than ever.

Despite the physical exertion we had kept talking, not a full on conversation, but words of encouragement and support. Forgiveness was washing over us both and I knew by the morning we would be better then we ever had been.

My bottom lip was quivering, my bones felt like marrow and my body was fatigued. I can honestly say I had never been happier in my entire life.

Lost in my own deliriously blissful thoughts I almost missed the gear change and it took my body a second to catch up. There was no change in technique or position, just a very clear difference in speed. Regina was like an animal, bucking against me with wild abandonment. Nothing but the weight of my body keeping her grounded. It takes a special kind of woman to top from the bottom.

We had passed the stage of tentative love making. Regina needed to come and clearly she needed it hard and fast for that to happen.

Her hands were back in hair, her fingers twisting and pulling as she continued to ride. Bites were being left on my usually flawless skin and while I knew Regina would be mortified when she saw them in daylight, I would display them proudly.

We were both close, close to falling apart and close to healing together. I held her close and felt her body shake or maybe it was mine, I couldn't be sure. Soon I was sure it was both of us, as we started climaxing in unison. Our liquid releases mingling together to form an exquisite cocktail.

We came down from our mutual epic high in tandem, unable to communicate with anything other then breathless giggles and doe-eyed expressions. I love it when something you look forward to turns out better than you could ever have imagined.

We laid there for a while, wrapped around each other and covered in sticky sheets. I was expecting Regina to move any second, her fastidious nature perhaps preventing her from enjoying after glow, but it didn't happen. She simply nuzzled into my side and licked the sweat from my collarbone and the hollow in my throat.

Sleep was coming for me and as tired as I was, I didn't want it. I wasn't quite ready for round two, but I wasn't ready to say goodnight either. We laid in each others arms, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again. A calm contentment settled over us both as we realised the games had ended. In our attempt to discover the truth we realised all we needed was honesty.

The words I had wanted to say all night were resting on my tongue. I was desperately searching for a way to verbalise that didn't sound corny or clichéd, I wanted the words to mean more. Regina had waited long enough to hear them that a simple declaration didn't seem enough.

I couldn't find a better phrase or a better way. I guess I figured in each other arms, after mind blowing sex and reassurance that mistakes were being forgiven was special enough.

"I love you." The words came so naturally I realised I didn't need anything more other then to mean them, and I did, wholeheartedly.

"I love you to Emma. I always did even when I hated you." I could have done without the last part, but I suppose I was nice to hear. It showed the depth of her feelings.

We were just relaxing into a satisfied state of slumber when unusual sounds grabbed our attention. It was a subtle sound of swooshing and rustling and we couldn't help but wonder what was causing it. Despite the objections from our struggling bodies we got out of bed to look out the window. All we had just experienced, all we had just shared was about to be ruined. All thanks to the heavy purple haze rapidly rolling towards us. The panic in Regina's eyes said she knew what this meant. I was a little less certain, but had a good idea what was happening. We stayed silent, held each other and prepared for what was coming.


End file.
